5 Ways to Magnetize Men On the First Date
Magnetizing men on a first date can be a challenge, especially because first dates can be very nerve-racking.
They can make us feel extremely insecure and worried that our insecurities might cause us to act in ways we might later regret.
I remember many first dates where I was having an out-of-body experience and I felt flush-faced and totally unable to just be myself. I was too shy and quiet, found it hard to stay in the moment, and did a less than lousy job at answering even the simplest questions. Once I even forgot my own last name and he thought I was lying to him when I remembered it!
Here are some first date tips to help ease your insecurities and help you peek you magnetize men within minutes of knowing them:
1. Don’t Try & Hide Your Nerves
If you are nervous on a date, don’t try to pretend like you aren’t. It’s even okay in the eyes of mature and QUALITY men for you to admit to your date that you are nervous. It’s so much better to be honest than to do a bad job at faking causality. Pretending to be ‘cool’ when you feel anxious can put you in your head and make you unable to listen well.
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When you surrender to your nerves, you actually stop being so nervous. And you will REALLY feel more at ease when you mention your nerves aloud and your date reacts with words of relief and comfort. A good man will always be flattered that you are nervous and at the same time will say what he can to put you at ease. He wants you to feel comfortable because men know we are always at our best when we feel confident. Just say, “I feel nervous on first dates.” It’s that easy.
2. Wear Comfortable Clothes
There is nothing less sexy to a man than a woman who tarts herself up and then spends the night looking VERY uncomfortable in her clothing.
I know 6-inch stilettos makes your legs look thinner and I know you want to show off your new trim waistline in a pair of extremely low-rise jeans, but your date isn’t going to think you look fabulous if you are stumbling around in your heels and your butt crack pours out every time you reach for your drink.
Stick to clothes that make you FEEL sexy over clothes that look good on you. When you can put on a dress or a blouse that gives you confidence, believe me when I say that your date isn’t going to care if it’s a season or two out of fashion.
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Your walk, your posture…. Your overall carriage… is so important to your sex appeal. However, when you are self-conscious, the first thing that goes out the door is confident body language. When you wear items that make you forget what you are wearing and just let loose, you are going to make for a great impression in his head.
3. Don’t Fill the Silences
This is a biggie! The only thing more unattractive about a boring date is a boring date with someone who is desperately trying to make it a fun experience for you.
When you take it upon yourself to be your date’s entertainment and jump through hoops for him to like his night with you, you are indirectly screaming, “I know I’m not enough for you right now, but LIKE ME, LIKE ME!”
Make a point to PLAY TENNIS with your date. He asks a question, you answer it and ask one back. Don’t take the role of interrogator. If he answers you and doesn’t ask something back of you but instead just sits in silence, you sit in silence, too.
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Don’t be intimidated by the silences. Just because he isn’t speaking, does not mean he is judging you. He could very well just be analyzing his own behavior. Don’t assume he doesn’t like you just because he is struggling to enjoy himself. He could just be uptight and nervous.
Sit back and let him jump through the hoops to keep you happy!
4. Make Eye Contact
This one is hard to do when you are talking to a date, but take time when he is speaking to look into his eyes and take him in.
Men love to feel unnerved by a woman, it’s a challenge for them, and nothing is more unnerving than a woman who looks a man directly in the eyes. Now, don’t have a staring contest with him or look at him like he is being analyzed under your critical mind’s microscope.
Look at him and send him loving vibes. Look at him and see your own insecurities in his eyes. Smile at him and let him know that you see the good in him and are willing to know more about who he is.
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5. Touch Your Neck
When you speak to him, place your hand on your chest bone or play with a necklace around your neck. This will actually help you open up and feel more loving and feminine inside.
Sometimes we have bad habits that we do with our hands in daily life and we don’t even realize that we are doing that movement on our dates. I have this thing where I touch my lips when I’m listening and sometimes I end up with one finger slightly up my nose. Not cute and I’ve done it on a few first dates, I’m sure.
Lightly playing with your necklace gives your hands something to do and it also signals to your date that you think he is attractive. Men love to see that they have this power over a woman. It creates an intimacy at the table and allows him to open up and feel more connected and tender and less stiff and pretentious.
When on a first date, the most important thing to remember is that there is a man out there who will think you are worth loving in your entirety. Maybe it won’t be this guy, but he does exist. Knowing this can give you the comfort to be yourself and to not let your inner voices force to you to feel ‘not enough’, especially if the date doesn’t end up going well for you. That kind of confidence will allow you to more easily magnetize men!
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So many women will never find their other half because they are pessimistic and too afraid of rejection. Risk it.
Even if you come home and realize you were a Nervous Nelly with a too-short miniskirt, a penchant for chatter and a habit of cleaning under your nails while you spoke—at least you got out there! That’s a hellava lot more than most women can say!
If you really want to be a man-magnet on dates, take a look-see at my newest e-book, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. It’s all about finding your inner enchantress who is 100% sensual, exciting, alluring, hypnotic and intoxicating to men! The book’s 27 Enchantress Secrets are simple-to-follow rules of engagement that will make you feel like a modern goddess and leave you with a legion of male admirers!
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From my male perspective, I think is some great wisdom that all the ladies can benefit from. Something I would add is that most of the time, we men are much more nervous than the ladies. Sometimes we wonder if she will like us for who we are or for how much we spend on the date. I know in my own dating history I’ve gone out with some ladies that were nervous/excited, and some that were overly confident. It’s been my experience that the overly confident ladies keep the guy at a distance and tend to care more for the free meal or what not. Anyways, great info!
Love this advice. Don’t be overly confident!. Usually when you feel overly confident, you are secretly terrified of rejection, anyway. It’s a turn-off. Thanks for the male perspective AJ!
Hallo You are doing good job writing this blog. I am reading Your articles for some time and i can’t wait for next. Your blog represents Your point of view, that’s what i like .
Thanks Margaret!