How To Be Sensual On Dates: #1 Thing Men Ask Matchmakers For In A Woman Is Femininity
Men love women who can stay in the moment with them and can help them get out of their heads (where they are swimming in thoughts of work pressures and other life responsibilities) and live in their own aliveness. A woman who can help guide a man to his own senses and feelings is the kind of goddess that men search their lives to find. How To Be More Intimate & Enchant Men Effortlessly
Here are 3 ways to be sensual and live more fully in the moment when on a first date with a man:
Be Sensual: Stay With Your Feelings & Voice Them
A sensual woman is fully in her body and listens to her heart. She is sensitive to how her environment affects her senses and knows when she’s blissful in a moment and when she’s irritated. Too many people ignore their feelings and disconnect from them in order not to appear difficult to others. This puts you in your head and takes you out of the moment. Resentments build and you lose your sense of playful enjoyment with the company you keep.
When on a first date, instead of stifling your negative feelings about something a date says that irks you or the unpleasant temperature in a restaurant or movie theater, speak up. Don’t get dramatic about it, just say, with confidence, that you are uncomfortable:
“I feel a little perturbed with what you just said. Could you help me understand what you meant.”
“This theater is really cold. I think I’ll go ask to turn down the air.”
The key is to listen to your feelings, give them a voice and move on. Try to get back to a positive connection. That should be your aim—to be constantly doing what you can to stay happy in your heart. This means not ignoring negative sensory input but dealing with it fast and effectively. This allows you and him a more positive space to get connected.
Use Words Effectively To Create “Sensory Bonding”
Every moment experienced with a man is a chance to let him inside your world and intoxicate him with your unique essence. Nothing does that more effectively than words. Your words are windows into your soul, so choose wisely.
A man doesn’t fall in love with a woman because she shares the same ideas and morals as him. A man may respect and care about a woman for these reasons, but he falls in love with the vulnerability in a woman. A woman’s exposed vulnerability makes a man want to protect and care for her.
Don’t only throw around ideas when on a date, but instead, speak about your feelings and provoked physical sensations to create an intimate connection. Refrain from trying to impress him with cerebral conversation or too much humor. These are both defense mechanisms and walls to intimacy. Instead use words to express and expose how life has directly affected your underbelly.
When telling a man a story (or conversing about a subject), talk about how an event (or an issue) touched you. So, for example, instead of intellectually dissecting the structure of a film you just saw together, talk about how it made you feel and what senses it stimulated; “That moment when the mother kissed her son—I felt like a child again, so soothed inside. I could smell the warm bread she was baking in that kitchen.”
Share your feelings openly with him and give him a sense of the poetic side of you. This allows for connection through what I call “sensory bonding.” Sensory bonding is when someone bonds with another over a shared sensory experience. Sensory bonding on a first date makes a man think, “There’s something about her that I connect with on this unspoken level. I feel like there’s a commonality of life. The way she expresses herself, it makes me feel myself and I can see that we understand each other on a deep level.” It makes him feel connected to your soul and to his own life force. He feels truly alive inside, just like what poetry does to a person.
Soothe & Comfort Him As You Listen
Some people would argue that a sensual woman sacrifices her sensitivity to indulge herself in the pleasure of the now. But I argue that a sensual woman is sensual in more than just the 5 physical senses of sight, touch, sound, taste and smell. She is also extremely sensitive and empathic to the emotional needs of those around her, making sensitivity her 6th sense. She knows how to feel out the silent spaces hinged between the words of another person.
When on a first date, chances are you aren’t going to have to comfort and soothe a man’s extreme feelings of despair or anguish like you would if he were a friend in crisis. But you can still take opportunities to make him feel like you are a blanket around his emotions, calming and caressing them quiet and calm.
Know those li’l jackets they sell for doggies that hold them tight during a thunderstorm? The pressure around the dogs’ midsections makes them feel soothed. Well, I want you to be like one of these li’l jackets because that’s where true intimacy breeds.
When your date starts opening up, take the opportunity to not just listen, but to hear his feelings. If he talks about his stressful job and all his responsibilities there, tell him what you see as he speaks; “Wow. That sounds stressful.”
Then follow it up with a validating comment that makes him feel supported; “It’s commendable that you can wake up every morning and face those kinds of challenges head-on.”
You could also give him the gift of empathy by extending him permission to not have to feel that way, “You seem like a hardworking guy, you should give yourself a break now and then and just find small ways to be calm and loving to yourself. You deserve it!”
When you can see another person’s emotional experience and soothe and validate those feelings for him (being his li’l jacket), he will feel like he needs you in his life. The first date could end with him rushing to call a friend to say one of those cheesy movie lines; “I don’t know how I ever got along without this woman!”
Being a sensual woman who is brave enough to speak up, confident enough to expose her vulnerability and wise enough to hear a man’s unspoken emotion is so easy. It just feels, at first, uncomfortable and unfamiliar. However, the more you practice, the more automatic it becomes, and you soon realize that you’ve been blocking yourself from intimacy and connection for too long.
My eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You offers more tips on how to be sensual and live in your feminine energy so that the real you, the goddess inside, can finally break surface and touch the hearts of men everywhere.
The Key To His Heart: Be A Sensitive & Sensual Woman
To be a sensitive and sensual woman you have to be interested in him, not strive to be interesting.
Stop trying to impress men (or that special man) with how smart, funny, fun, sexy and sexual you can be, and start being interested in knowing him on a deeper level. The way to make him fall in love with you resides in how well you can build an emotional connection with him.
Building an emotional connection with a man is not the same thing as building a friendship with him. Yes, friendships are strong when an emotional connection exists, but the difference is that the emotional connection I’m talking about makes him attracted to you.
Create An Emotional Connection That Includes Deep Sensuality
Next time you are with a man let him into your goddess world by indulging your senses while with him. Live fully in the moment and enjoy the sounds, tastes, smells, sights and textures of objects all around you. Comment on how “Mmm” the dessert mousse tastes or how “Ooh” the red wine smells. Touch things– your hair, the tabletop, his crisp cotton shirt, etc.– and register the temperatures and textures.
This may sound strange but it will help you get into your body and stay present in your thoughts. It will also help you stay and feel grounded in your feelings and will help him feel grounded in his own.
Men are pressured by society in their jobs and with being providers of all kinds in their communities. The key to attracting him is finding a way to get him feeling connected to his feelings. He wants to feel alive inside and enjoy life. He just gets stuck in his thoughts and responsibilities that weigh on him.
A sensual woman who can eat a chocolate mousse and make it an almost sexual experience is going to allow a man to forget about his life stressors and live in the gloriousness of mousse. How fabulous is that– that a dessert can be used as a tool to make a man smitten with you?
Or if there’s music playing, dance a little in your seat if you feel so compelled.
Or if there’s a beautiful painting on the wall talk about how it makes you feel inside.
He will feel his inner poetry when you show him yours and this will change his life and make him feel reliant on you to soften his edges. See, female pals are fun to hang out with and talk about sports and gossip. A real enchantress uses her sensuality to make a moment more than fun, relaxing and “chill”; she makes a moment sexy. Sensuality = sexy!
Create An Emotional Connection By Being A Sensitive Woman
Men are sensitive, too. My goodness, we all know about the fragility of the male ego (Can someone say eggshell?) The best way to capture a man’s heart and make him fall in love is to find a way to express deep empathy and make him feel understood and cared for.
Now, you can’t coddle him or baby him, but you should find a way to make him feel like being with you is like being held in the arms of a nurturing goddess.
Appreciate him (“Thank you so much for that compliment.”)
Motivate him (“I think you are a brilliant man and can do anything you want.”)
Validate his feelings (“It sounds like you had an awful day at work. I’m so sorry you had to experience all that.”)
Empathize with him (“I understand how stressful work can be. I think you should give yourself a chance to relax sometimes. You deserve it.”)
All this may sound pretty obvious, but so often we forget to actually say these kinds of empowering and nurturing statements. We assume that he knows we care and we even think we said them when we didn’t. A lot of men are sensitive to words– that’s why they use less of them in relationships. When you can touch his heart with loving, supportive words, you can connect immediately with his heart.
To be a sensual woman who has a sensitive heart you have to wash away your self-conscious thoughts and live in the moment. You have to give fully of yourself and be fully receptive of the sensory input he offers. If he touches you, let yourself melt into his touch and tell him how good it feels. If he gives you words of affirmation, let him know that you hear him and appreciate him for his gifts of love.
Red Rose Woman
What is that thing that certain women possess that make them enchantresses?
She innately gets that her job in a relationship is to make her man feel like the best man that he can be. She knows that her love is like water and his pride like a cork, rising higher and higher with her adoration and support.
The original enchantresses of the Round Table knew how to make alpha males into chivalrous, gallant knights. They knew how to use their Female Fire to make them better warriors and better humans, at the same time.
An enchantress puts a love spell on her man, making him surrender his male freedoms to be with her and be loved by her. But she never takes his weakness for her love for granted. She is 100% appreciative and humble. She knows that her good grace will keep him happy and hungry for more of her love potion!
This woman is inside you and she is waiting for you to unleash her into the world of eager men– men who restlessly long for your love spell!
Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You will show you how to offer him the kind of love that will never bore him, the kind of love that will make him grow up, face his responsibilities and love you the way you deserve.
Ready to make that special man into your brilliant knight? HowToBeAManMagnet.com
What Attracts A Man To A Woman? Goddess Energy!
Wondering what attracts a man to a woman? Men are vastly different as individuals but are very easy to understand as a collective whole.
Most straight men want to find that special woman who makes them feel like they can go out into the world and accomplish anything. The average good guy wants a woman he can proudly stand beside at a public function, a woman who understands and fulfills his sexual needs, a woman who trusts in herself and stands up for herself when necessary, and most importantly a woman who ‘gets’ him on a deep emotional level. This type of woman has goddess energy!
So how to you harness your female power to emit goddess energy and quickly and easily become the best version of yourself for your relationship? Well, first, you have to stop doing things for the relationship and for him and you have to start doing things for yourself. I don’t mean that you become a demanding diva with your nose in the air and your finger pointing constantly at the things you want your man to do for you. I do, however, want you to relish in selfishness.
Selfishness is first part of a spiritual journey and the first step toward having the kind of goddess energy your man adores.
Read More From Connect With His Heart: Harness Your Feminine Allure & Captivate Men (Part 1)
Many spirituality teachers discuss the importance of being selfish. You must have self-love if you are to love anyone. If you don’t take the time to know yourself and accept yourself on a deep level (this requires you to be self-centered), you will always put your anxiety and negative self-reflection out into the world. You will try to control and manage others instead of act truly giving and loving free of charge. You will pull the kinds of reactions you want from people instead of allow them to feel fully accepted in your presence. Why? Because without self-love and self-acceptance you’re too reliant on others to feed you love. Your lack of self-love will make you desperate to fill the seeping bottomless pit of lovelessness in your heart with other people’s loving words and actions.
When you are truly selfish, YOU provide for yourself and you get to know your body and mind to the point of being able to know when you need to pamper yourself and when you feel ‘charged’ enough with positive loving energies to go out into the world and truly do for others. Having goddess energy is knowing when to look out for yourself and when to do what you can for your man.
When you don’t put yourself first, you rely too heavily on your man to make you happy. You get hypersensitive to everything he says and does and you become paranoid. This happens because you give him too much power. You need too much from him, and when the cards are all in his hand, you feel out-of-control. You try to regain control by controlling him-- what he says, where he goes, how he shows you affection, etc.
Goddesses aren’t codependent; codependent women are so entangled in a man, they don’t know where he ends and they begin.
Codependent women try to soothe, nurture and love a man for all the wrong reasons– they do these things to soothe, nurture and love themselves. This kind of transference feels really smothering and weird to a man. It can fill him with anxiety: Constant soothing makes the receiver feel like he is being soothed because something is wrong, and this will make him anxious. Lots of parents do this– they constantly soothe a child to feel calm and the child grows up anxious and feeling all the time like some impending doom is upon them. Don’t do this to your man. It will push him away.
Read More From Connect With His Heart: How To Express Love To A Man
Goddesses avoid codependence and transference by being very mindful of their behavior in a relationship. A goddess is so in touch with herself, she knows when she feels ‘off’ inside. She also knows when she’s focusing too heavily on her relationship and doing it a disservice. She knows the difference between having healthy and reasonable emotional, spiritual and sexual needs in a relationship and putting too much pressure on the man to be her everything.
Goddess energy makes you calm, patient, observant and detached. What do I mean by detached?
A goddess can disengage from negative energy quickly. She knows when to leave an argument (or how to avoid one from starting) before it becomes drama. Goddess energy is about stopping an obsessive mind from getting hooked on a chemical response. Goddesses can tell immediately when they are losing power to a man or a circumstance. They know how to detach from the fears and insecurities that can dictate poor choices. They know when and how to re-engage in fun and self-loving activities to take care of themselves when things are bad in a relationship.
Goddess energy empowers a woman to know when to walk away from a relationship and a man.
Goddesses know when there is more heartache than happiness in a relationship. They also know that happiness in a relationship is not about chemistry and feeling a ‘high’ when things are good in the relationship. Happiness in a relationship involves no chemical highs and instead is more of a soft, safe, peaceful and tender feeling. Goddesses know that the most important part of a relationship is emotional security and feeling safe (not to be abandoned, controlled, played with, objectified, etc.)
Read More From Connect With His Heart: Dating? How To Invite Love Into Your Life
What attracts a man to a woman is a goddess vibe that sends a man a clear message: ”I am a loving, trusting and calm woman and I expect respect, fidelity and love from you in return.” This kind of energy keeps a man from feeling smothered and walking on eggshells, while also keeping him ‘in check’. He feels equally that she is easy-going in the relationship and also high-maintenance (in the sense that he knows she will not tolerate real crap from him).
Finally, goddess energy is sensual, soft and sweet.
Goddesses know how to ‘tenderize’ a man’s soul and win a man’s heart with her soft curves, sultry voice and loving caresses. The key to being a sensual goddess is to know your boundaries. When you know for a fact what you will and won’t tolerate, your body can loosen up and your mind stays present with a man (enjoying his company). It’s when you don’t trust yourself with a man that you get brittle and step into your defensive masculine energy. Your masculine energy protects you and allows your subconscious to scream in a man’s ear; “You better back the f**k up and not hurt me!”. Men can not get intimate with that kind of energy. It makes them challenge you, play power games with you or just run away from you. Female energy whispers in a man’s ear; “Come hither. I trust myself enough to not let you too close unless you behave. So be a good boy, and let’s enjoy each other.”
My eProgram for women, Inspire His Love For You, is more comprehensive. It’s a 2-part handbook on saving a relationship. It also comes with a meditation track that offers self-loving mantras and self-soothing meditations to help you through hard moments in a relationship when you feel eager to hand over your power to a man. This program is all about being mindful, making you more self-aware of how you behave in your relationship. It dissects your fears and insecurities, shining a light on all the ways in which your subconscious sabotages your changes at bliss. It has a wonderful section on self-providing and teaches you how to instantly have a better connection to yourself and your inner child. Your inner child, free of distrust, neurosis and a self-loathing, clingy mentality, is what attracts a man to a woman!
Dating Advice For Women: Knowing When To Be Optimistic About Love
Pop psychology loves to pump people full of romanticized faith: poetic photographs with quotes preaching positivity on friends’ Facebook pages; the word ‘hope’ carved into pocket-size stones and spelled out in rhinestones on hundred-dollar bracelets. And why not? Why not encourage a little optimism, especially in love? With a dismal divorce rate and couples having less and less faith in long-term commitment, why not push people to trust a bit more?
My coaching is all about having an open heart with men. In Inspire His Love For You, I encourage women to have a little-girl heart when dating or in a relationship: find your childlike whimsy, feel your emotions fully and live in the present moment. But what I don’t want women to do, and what often happens is, women hold onto false hope.
Don’t Stay Optimistic About Love As An Excuse To Continue A Bad Relationship
Has Mr. Unavailable been hanging around, staying just out of reach but close enough to make your mouth water?
You can’t stop thinking about him, strategizing on how you can get him to come just a little closer and realize his true feelings for you. You not only remain optimistic about love, you remain a champion fighter for the cause. You STUFF DOWN all the yucky, negative feelings. Especially the anger– oh boy, you sure don’t want him to see that slimy black gook. You even fight back the tears and the heaviness and you make a promise to yourself that you will be more fun, more exciting and sexier next time you are around him. You wrap yourself into a pretzel trying to cater to all his apparent needs and be that source of unconditional love in his life he’s never known.
But the reality is that your negative feelings don’t just disappear when you ignore them long enough; they go somewhere. They are very patient li’l buggers, hanging out in the depths of your soul, waiting for a vulnerable moment to break free and blow up to the surface. You end up blowing up at Mr. Unavailable, experiencing emotional roller coaster rides every time he disappoints you, and you end up acting passive aggressive or needy.
Sometimes Believing In The Brighter Side Of A Bad Boy Leaves You In Total Darkness
We all know when we are dating (or even married to) Mr. Unavailable: we know he’s got a glitch in the empathy processing systems in his brain; we know he’s a man boy who can’t seem to hold himself accountable to anything; we know intimacy terrifies the crap out of him and that he cheats or disappears for days. Yet we hold onto faith. We get on the computer and pluck “believe in love” memes from Google Images; we buy books, eBooks and ePrograms to help us seduce him into our arms. The problem is that he will never come. He can’t. He doesn’t have the tools in his toolbox.
Be Optimistic About Finding Real Love
Sometimes the best faith we can have is in a power higher than ourselves, and I’m not talking about God. I’m talking about the power of true love. I’m talking about having the faith to continue dating a guy you know is a good man and would make a stable and committed partner even when you don’t initially feel the attraction, the chemistry, the spark. If you have FAITH in the power of love, you can stay in that dating relationship and trust that mutual attraction will happen over time. Because it will. (It’s about having faith in your intuition, in your ability to create something that goes deeper than chemical romance. It’s about believing that you are worth more than being kept at a distance by a limited man.)
Use your intuition and be honest with yourself about men who are lost causes, but don’t become paranoid and ditch a guy at the first sign of a red flag. Take your time with guys and trust that if you relax on dates, enjoy yourself (while still holding back from sleeping with him too soon or getting too emotionally invested early on), the truth of who a guy is will slowly reveal itself. A wolf in sheep’s clothing will soon let a whisker or claw pop through if he’s comfortable enough with you. If this happens, don’t panic. You’ll live. Have faith that you can bounce back from him; believe that not all men are wolves and that love is waiting for you. That’s truly being optimistic about love!
Time To Be Vulnerable Without Being Susceptible
The fastest way to a broken heart is to pretend you don’t have one. Charlie Sheen said that. Knowing his reputation, it’s obvious that he has a lot of experience with playing games and what kind of woman is susceptible to his limitations. If you act hard, brittle, distrusting; if you play games with men because you think that’s the way to find love, you are going to end up burned. I guarantee you that however fantastic you think your game is, there is a Mr. Unavailable who has a better game. You have feelings, you have needs, you have a tenderness that yearns for tender protection. Don’t play with emotionally unavailable men—they will scar your scars.
Instead, play zero games. And be vulnerable with EVERY man. Not susceptible, but vulnerable. This will train you to trust your boundaries and know what feels good and what feels awful. The way I want you to be vulnerable is to communicate your feelings and allow men, even the Mr. Unavailables, to see your feelings. I ask that you are open with your heart and emotions in every conversation you have with a man. Have faith in yourself and in your boundaries to always speak the truth about how someone or something makes you feel. And do it in a way that invites men closer to you…
Open-Hearted Communication: What To Say & How
The best communication is the easiest and most direct. To use words to create instant intimacy takes a lot of vulnerability, softness, kindness, and, wait for it… optimism. It takes trust that more men will respond lovingly than not, and it takes trust to know that no matter how a man reacts to hearing your feelings, you are going to survive and be okay. You can’t control a man’s reaction, but you can control how you act and how much dignity you emanate.
photo source: livelifehappy.com
Breathe, find your grounding and state your feelings in a soft, revealing tone that lacks judgment or bitterness. If you accomplished this, you’ll be so alluring, you’ll be able to tell a man that you’re “so angry you want to stab him with a kitchen knife” and he’ll still offer you a hug. (I mean it, it’s happened to me with my man. And I was holding a knife at the time.)
Examples of open-hearted communication:
“I feel sad and angry when you disappear on me for days.”
“I feel really good when a man kisses me hello, thank you for doing that.”
“I feel uncomfortable on first dates but I’m working through it.”
The best communication requires that you be optimistic about the end result, which isn’t his reaction, but how you are going to feel about yourself for being so open and truthful.
If you want to learn more communication tips, sign up for my Love Advice Newsletter. In it, I talk extensively about vulnerability vs. susceptibility and how to be a soft, sensual and luscious woman while still remaining strong in your beliefs and boundaries. If you want to be optimistic about love, you have to share who you are without losing who you are to an emotionally unavailable man
Inspire His Love For You
“Keep Reading To Learn About The SECRET RELATIONSHIP GUIDE BOOKS For Women That Will Make Him Addicted To You Forever… Even If He’s Currently Showing Little To No Interest!”
From the Desks of: Relationship Experts Sarah Jeanette & Kristina Marchant
Hello. We are Kristina & Sarah and we’ve spent our lives helping women just like you heal and save their love lives.
You are on this site searching for answers. That means you are proactive– the kind of positive and determined woman any man would be LUCKY to have in his life.
“Right Now You Aren’t Being Loved The Way You Deserve!”
If you are being ignored…
Or if his behavior is making you feel jealous & insecure…
Or if you’re analyzing everything he does…
Then this may be the most important letter you could read right now!
Unfortunately, love issues are TIME-SENSITIVE. Once a man goes from hot to cold, your window of opportunity is small.
So let’s get right to it:
- Does he only want a sexual relationship with you?
- Do you get used for your kind heart?
- Has he already asked for space?
- Does he “forget” to get back to you?
- Is he threatening to leave you?
- Is he cheating?
- Has his desire for sex with you all but DIMINISHED?
- Is he DEVOID of tenderness and passion?
- Do you feel like you walk on egg shells around him?
- Has he stopped complimenting you?
Don’t worry if these scenarios sound familiar; there is GOOD NEWS. We can help you today. We’ve been doing this awhile and we assure you that whatever your situation, we’ve helped a relationship come back from worse.
Even if he’s already left you for another woman there is still hope.
“We’ve Been In Your Shoes & Turned Our Love Lives Completely Around!”
Before we became highly sought-out experts on men and love, we were “messes in dresses”! We had psych degrees from impressive colleges but knew nothing when it came having and sustaining real life relationships.
If you answered “yes” to questions above, we both know exactly how you feel. Kristina’s husband just up and left one day. He filed for divorce weeks later. Then, she was left again by a great man who, at first, called her “his miracle”.
And Sarah had dead-end relationships with men for years– relationships that all once seemed so promising.
We were always so shocked at how FAST things seemed to fall apart. We went from being pampered, praised and adored to being emotionally dropped. We went from being the man’s top priority to his “afterthought”: something he thought about after his children, his job, his parents, his hobbies, etc.
“It Was The Same Heartbreaking Outcome Each Time We Liked A Guy”
- When things were good in our relationships, we felt strong and supported. We felt confident.
- When things were bad, we would act impulsively from a terrified, weak place inside us. We felt out of control; we pushed men further and further away by spiraling into a black hole of insecurity.
We’d be obsessed with a man’s behavior (what it all really meant) and we would over-think everything we said and did.
Not to mention, we would CATER to our distant and distracted men: more sex, more smiles, more jumping through hoops to plan the perfect date or the perfect text message.
But no matter what we tried, men remained distant and seemingly uninspired to love us and honor the relationship.
“Don’t Make The Fatal Mistakes Most Women Make When A Mall Pulls Back”
Mistake #1: Fill In the Spaces Where He Has Gone Lax
Most smart and successful professional women know what it takes to get ahead in business, but putting in sweat, blood and tears won’t win you back a man like it will a job promotion.
- Convincing him of why he should be with you
- Planning elaborate dates in hopes he will want to go
- Helping him do things that he should be doing for himself (paying his bills, etc.)
- Catering to him with massages or “performance sex”
- Making/buying him li’l gifts and sweet lovey cards
- Fighting for his love while he sits back
…you are not helping yourself.
You are actually rewarding him for bad behavior. You are indirectly saying, “Treat me poorly and I’ll give you more attention and fight harder for you.” You have to reward a man only for good behavior, and right now, that may be hard to come by.
Now I’m not saying he won’t appreciate your efforts. He may truly be grateful for your help and attention, but your efforts won’t make you more attractive. They may even push him further away.
“Thank you for writing this guide to love. I feel like books I read about men tell you an end-result of the kind of woman a man loves but these books detail how to get there.” -Greta, 63
Mistake #2: Keep Silent, Remain Closed Off & Stay Afraid
It’s a natural response when a man pulls back to want to shut up and not do anything that would further ruffle his feathers. But when you stop speaking your mind to please a man, you look weak and FEEL weak inside, which makes you act like a DOORMAT.
When a man can sense that you aren’t comfortable opening up to him about your feelings, he feels like he isn’t doing a good job at making you feel safe.
Even if your man doesn’t make you feel safe, he still would rather hear you speak up and express your concerns over watch you suffer silently out of fear.
Thinking that you are afraid to speak up will make him feel like the bad guy and he will pull back.
Plus, your lack of honesty will further disconnect the relationship.
- Inspire passion in his heart
- Have a more satisfying relationship, where he “shows up” fully.
- Feel like a new woman inside.
Mistake #3: Victimize Yourself By Whining, Crying & Screaming
Men want to please women. It allows them to feel their “power to provide”. However…
Once he starts to wall you off, you can’t harp on him about how much you hurt inside and how much you need him to work harder for your love. Once he starts laying emotional bricks between you, it’s just a matter of time before he loses attraction and even starts feeling APATHY toward you.
Look, it’s human nature to get LOUDER and more DESPERATE the longer you go unheard. However, turning up the volume makes him TURN THE CHANNEL. You end up totally tuned out.
Even though you have EVERY RIGHT to feel upset about not being heard, love isn’t about who is right. It’s about doing what works: crying, screaming, pouting or any other form of emotional reacting doesn’t work. It makes you feel like A WET BLANKET to him, dragging him down and closing him off.
“I was inspired by your two’s honesty about yourselves and decided to be courageous and speak about my fears to my boyfriend. He was quiet but attentive. I felt like I was naked or like my skin was “unzipping to him”… It was like an experience I had once at church… Well, when we went to sleep later after everything, he thought I was sleeping but I heard him cry. He touched me exactly how you two taught me to touch him and how I did earlier in the night. It was a miracle. I called his sister and told her. Bless you both.”- Nicole, 32
Mistake #4: Play Games With Him
Once you start playing hard-to-get, doing things such as ignoring his calls on purpose, you are setting yourself up to lose him in the long-run. Games only work for a while and they totally undermine trust in a relationship. If he comes back, it won’t be for long and you will have to continue playing games with him to keep him. Games get you a limited man for a limited amount of time.
When you play games, the only thing left in the relationship is POWER. The love is gone, the trust is gone and the two of you are left fighting for attention and control. It’s a lose-lose situation.
“Getting Him Back & Making Him Fall In Love Is Easier Than You Think.”
We make love so complicated and it doesn’t have to be. You already have everything it takes to inspire him. There is a goddess inside you who is dying to break free of the web in which you’ve entangled her so that she can help you save your relationship.
What your inner goddess understands is that you get more from men by doing less.
By doing less, I don’t mean putting a void between you and him to force him to bridge the gap. By doing less I just mean stop doing all the garbage that doesn’t work.
Your mind, your girlfriends, your mom… they are all lying to you. The words we tell ourselves and the advice we gather from loved ones only add more confusion, pain and insecurity. The key is to stop listening!
Start listening to your inner goddess.
“But where is she?,” you ask.
Our program will show you how to reach her. We’ll transform you into your highest self to be the fun, confident, sexy and carefree beauty he wants and needs in his life.
“So What’s The Answer To Bringing Him Closer?”
What your inner goddess innately “gets” is that there’s a secret to making him fall in love:
In love, you have to be TOUGH and TENDER at the same time.
You have to know how to RISK VULNERABILITY and be soft and sensitive yet still able to STAND UP for yourself.
Society has made us all very successful at putting up walls, even when we have no idea we are doing so. It’s important that you don’t have any emotional walls and can be vulnerable around a man. As women, we shutdown, harden and become brittle and too fragile. Too many of us are, unfortunately, like PORCELAIN– hard on the surface yet shattering to pieces at the slightest provocation.
Instead you need to be both MALLEABLE and UNBREAKABLE! You must be like a PALM TREE that bends with the storm to survive the winds.
- Are you currently too hurt and too INSECURE to feel comfortable around him?
- Have you EVER had the kind of relationship in which the man does the work and you just relax into his efforts?
- Do you let HIM be the MAN? Or are you too busy pushing him out of the driver’s seat so you can take the wheel?
“I was so very surprised at how your exercises helped crumble my walls in my relationship with my boyfriend and how well he responded to it. I really love the [Always Planted in Love Exercise].” -Kelly, 28
“You Already Have Everything It Takes & We Can Unleash Your Inner Goddess In An Hour!”
Even if he’s got one foot out the door…
Even if he’s told you he’s not in love with you…
We will take you by the hand and show you how to make him fall in love practically OVERNIGHT.
We will show you how to expose yourself to him fully, without chasing, without pretending, without forcing or getting anxious.
Then and only then, his heart will open.
“Men Don’t Even Know What We Understand About Men!”
Guys are CLUELESS as to how attraction forms. Look what one man wrote to us about other men:
“Your advice is so insightful. Men don’t get it. We don’t understand what makes us fall for a woman. We think sex appeal is about looks or sexual performance. Or we think that a woman is sexy when she keeps you chasing her. We don’t see how a vulnerable and sensual woman melts our hearts and makes us feel comfortable and turned on in their presence. Thank you for helping women understand us better ’cause we don’t have a freakin’ clue what makes us tick!”- Bill, 33
Men think they understand love and what makes them fall for a woman. They don’t. They have no idea.
They talk about wanting a woman who doesn’t bust their balls and gives them heaps of space. But what they don’t know is that they crave a woman who demands trust, honesty, respect and closeness in her relationship.
It’s always the nice, passive and complacent women who remain unmarried. Notice how the demanding women always have a husband?
We DON’T want you to become a bitch or parade around with false confidence. But we do want you to STOP listening to that advice out there telling you to worship a man’s need for space.
Stop trying to be easygoing. Just forget you heard it. It’s all junk that will get you nowhere with a man.
With a man you have to be the LOVE GUIDE and show him with your actions what it means to have a deeply intimate, close and loving partnership with someone. The LOVE GUIDE takes a man from thinking like a single person to thinking like one half of a devoted couple!
This program makes you an effective and cherished LOVE GUIDE!
“These books have been the savior of my self-esteem. I never before understood how to truly connect and share with a man…Kristina and Sarah are loving and non-judgmental teachers who have shown me the way to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Thank you for giving me the tools I need to discover the relationship I’ve always longed for.” – Ginina, 33
Here’s the answer you’ve been looking for:
“Inspire His Love For You Is The Relationship Saver! It’s The Bible On Men And The Mirror Into Which You Can See Your Inner Goddess!”
- Rebuild Intimacy in your relationship and have him touching and kissing again you.
- Breeze through TOUGH TALKS like those about commitment and use those TENSE MOMENTS to bring him closer.
- Feel and act like a proud, dignified and sexy goddess!
- Have the tools at your fingertips that will keep him devoted, happy & UNDER YOUR LOVE SPELL for the rest of your lives!
Here’s What You’ll Get:
- A 2-volume relationship guide book of over 200 pages on inspiring a man to love and adore you. Direct Download (PDF format /adobe)
- A TRACK OF MEDITATIONS to help guide you.
- A MIND MAP to carry with you when you want to study up on how our insight and techniques interrelate, so that you can master the art of what we call “emotion seduction.”
- A GLOSSARY of all our unique, custom-created love terminology, which will help you scroll through our pages when you are in a hurry and need to find a specific exercise fast.
- Tons of famous, inspirational QUOTES to help encourage you on your journey and make you feel less alone in the process.
Inspire His Love For You VOLUME ONE
- We will teach you how to take all your confusing, hostile, scary, dark emotions and feelings of panic and turn them into peaceful, charming, engaging, trusting, lighthearted feelings that will make a man drawn to you.
- We will give you the number one reason why your fantasy relationship is still a goal and not a reality.
- We will help render your insecurities powerless, while ALSO showing you how to use them to CAPTURE HIS HEART.
- We’ll explain why your energy around a man is more important than what you say or do and simple exercises to instantly feel this vivacious, all-loving, all-trusting energy vibrating through your whole body.
- We’ll explain how to be more accurately AWARE of how your words and behavior are being received by him, in order to know if you are on the right track toward inspiring his love.
- We will help make you much less sensitive to his every movement and sentence, in order to raise your confidence about the relationship and not have you worried all the time about what everything means.
- You’ll get a wonderful exercises to help you quickly SELF-SOOTHE in moments of desperation, when you feel compelled to act compulsively and impulsively with him.
- We’ll explain at length about our concept of Love-Based Giving, and get you giving the best of yourself, from the best place inside you.
- We will teach you HOW to be interesting and dynamic in the eyes of highly intelligent men, even if you feel insecure about your level of intelligence.
- You’ll read about case studies of Friends With Benefits, Wives in Failing Marriages, Girlfriends With Evaporating Boyfriends, and other women in unsatisfying relationships and exactly how we helped all of them win-over the hearts of their men.
- We’ll restore your faith in men and in your man.
- We’ll teach you how to express your needs to him in a manner that will make him jump to serve instead think you are clingy.
- We will give you a secret tool that actresses like Jennifer Aniston, Emma Stone, and Julia Ormond use when acting in romantic comedies, in order to make you feel and act just as adorable, silly, quirky, and lovable as they are.
- You’ll get EXERCISES and TOOLS to give yourself permission to be happy, no matter WHAT a man is doing or saying to you.
- We’ll give you specific reasons why your man withdraws from loving you and warning signs and signals of his growing disinterest.
- You’ll learn how to cast your Feminine Light over a man and make him feel blessed to have your luminous glow in his life.
- You’ll learn meditations and Mantras to lift your self-esteem, soothe your anxieties about him, and get you excited about connecting with him.
- You’ll get a very PROACTIVE way of thinking about the word “love” that will help you turn feelings into dynamic behavior!
- You’ll learn all about our Signature Concept: having a little-girl heart with men! You’ll learn what it is, why it will magnetize men and exercises to help you have one with men.
- We will put you on the path to craving and seeking out only the kind of men you SHOULD be seeking out.
- We will OPEN YOUR EYES to the amount of ANGER you hold inside right now because of your relationship and how to defuse it, in order to stop subconsciously pushing him away and start to consciously bring him closer to you.
- We will help you heal your heart from past heartbreak and get you using these experiences to make you a better lover, partner, friend to your man.
- We will teach you about The Pact that every mindful and successful lover makes with herself in relating to men. It’s not what you think.
- We will guide you on HOW to journal your feelings in a way that will get you knowing yourself better, in order to STOP subconscious, self-sabotaging behavior.
- We will give you a Third Eye to Spot Toxic Men Within Minutes.
- AND many more exercises, tools, concepts and visuals to change your VIBE around him and get you seeing yourself in a clearer light, in order to ELECTRIFY his every SENSE!
Inspire His Love For You VOLUME TWO
- You’ll get insight into HOW to touch a man to create a safe place for him to express his vulnerabilities and WHEN to touch him this way.
- We will teach you HOW to take better care of your body, heart and mind and make your man find you irresistibly beautiful and confident!
- You will be loving your life enough to create strong personal boundaries and STICK to them.
- With our help, you will be easily communicating with all men in a way that will instantly bring down their guard and make them feel honored to be your shoulder to lean on.
- We will give you mindful step-by-step guide to follow when communicating with your man about the relationship, in order to inspire him to want to commit and/or be a better man for you.
- You’ll learn exactly how to express your feelings for him to him and get him WANTING to talk about the love between you both. Hint: Men are different than women. For him it’s all about his status in your eyes over the depth of feeling in your heart.
- We will transform you into Madame Receiver, knowing how to receive from a man and surrender control, in order to inspire his desire to serve and service you ALL THE TIME.
- We’ll give you a powerful tool which will make him ENJOY your texts, calls, emails, instead of wince at the sight of them.
- You’ll become more sexual overnight– desiring sex more often and awakening irrepressible and wild attraction in men everywhere.
- We will have you feeling sexually confident with men, like a vixen, a bedroom diva, a sensual playmate who is soft, sweet and knows how give sexual pleasure and how to deepen emotional intimacy through physical intimacy.
- You’ll learn our If You Only Knew You Sexy Man, You exercise will have men drooling on their ties and they won’t know WHY they are sooo attracted to you.
- We will help you feel safe, relaxed and confident enough to marinate in male attention and have him deeply desiring more of your sassy banter and your cat-that-ate-the-canary smiles.
- We will get you AUTHENTICALLY, EFFORTLESSLY smiling and giggling with your man today and in a way that will spark his own humor and desire to entertain you and make you laugh.
- You’ll learn how to exude a certain vivacious energy that grabs male attention from the moment you walk in a room.
- You’ll learn the number one thing most men look for when deciding to commit to a woman forever and how to master having that quality. Hint: It has NOTHING to do with your looks, your ability to perform in the bedroom or your cooking skills.
- We will help you be an oyster shucker and get your man talking often and at length about his vulnerable feelings within and outside the relationship.
- We’ll help turn your body language and body posture into that of a goddess who can draw out the tenderness and affection of ANY MAN, and make him want to honor you as his Love Empress forever. And this has everything to do with feeling safe and free in your personal space when around him.
- You’ll learn HOW to risk vulnerability with a man and let him see your soft, delicate, female tenderness that’s currently buried under heaps of confusion and heartache.
- You’ll learn WHY you must show him your underbelly vulnerability and see HOW it can change everything about his gentlemanly behavior INSTANTLY.
- We will teach you how to handle your anxiety as you get close to him and help you to DRAW HIM TO YOU faster and more intensely than he ever thought possible with a woman.
- You’ll get TONS more to help you to change everything around for yourself and get you triggering extreme feelings of lust and love in his heart for you, today!
- Inspire passion in his heart
- Have a more satisfying relationship, where he “shows up” fully.
- Feel like a new woman inside.
You’ll Also Get… A Meditation MP3
An audio recording of all our Meditative Exercises found in the manuals.
Plus, ones not in the manuals.
That’s almost an hour-long MP3 of our voices taking you through our techniques.
You can practice them in your car or while your soak in a bubble bath.
They are meditations to build your self-belief, soothe your fear centers and your anxiety, help you compel men to want to trust you and love you, and help you build a long-term romance with your man.
“And Guess What Else You’ll Receive? How Would You Like FREE VIP ACCESS To Ask Us Anything You Want?”
We are currently offering ongoing, 24-hour e-mail support, and it’s INCLUDED if you order Inspire His Love For You today.
That means that one of us will PERSONALLY:
- DISSECT, DIAGNOSE and explain EXACTLY where the problems are in your relationship, and what you can do to solve them.
- GUIDE you through the program and help you understand how to it all works to help you.
- Translate “MAN SPEAK” so that you can understand what he’s really saying.
- Help you PUT TOGETHER a PLAN to GET HIM to fall in love.
- Reveal exercises and tools we ONLY use with private clients.
- And much, MUCH MORE…
Not only that, WE WILL PERSONALLY RESPOND TO YOU WITHIN 48 HOURS OF RECEIVING YOUR E-MAIL!
But act now, because our careers as relationship and dating coaches are really taking off and we aren’t available to accept many more clients.
“Inspire His Love For You Offers You A 60-Day Full Money Back Guarantee!”
“We’ll Show You How To Make Him Lust After You, Listen To Your Needs & Care About Your Feelings!”
This program is so powerful. It will make shifts happen in your brain and give you the confidence you’ll need to upsurge his attraction for you and deepen his love.
The program isn’t about feeding you pop psychology theories. It’s not about showing you how to be someone you aren’t to fool him or hook him with intermittent rewards.
It’s about giving you the tools, exercises and scripts you need to help you get out of your own way.
When he starts to feel a NEW ENERGY pouring off you, his primal urge to both protect you and ravish you at the same time will resurface. This is what we call your “cherish quotient”. If you want a man to love you and romance you, you have to have a high cherish quotient!
Love is raw and primal for a man. He can’t convince himself he loves you or talk with you about commitment like it’s a business deal. He has to have passion and unbridled attraction for you or he’s not invested.
“Inspire His Love For You Works. It’s NOT Like That Fluff Out There!”
Inspire His Love For You isn’t like all those other books and coaching programs out there which capitalize off your fears and insecurities by selling your more fear and encouraging more insecurities.
So much love advice out there gives you a list of laws you MUST follow with men and paints some cookie-cutter image you HAVE TO BECOME in order to have him love you.
We work with your personality and give you tools to help you be the best YOU with a man.
We want your inner goddess to awaken so you can LIVE the part and inspire his deep feelings, not ACT the part and make him think you’re too insecure to be yourself around him.
Our results can be Drastic, Lasting, and Immediate!
Do it for yourself. Do it for him.
He wants the kind of loving, honest, sexy, and deeply-connected relationship you want, as badly as you want it!
All Our Inspiration,
- Inspire passion in his heart
- Have a more satisfying relationship, where he “shows up” fully.
- Feel like a new woman inside.
Inspire His Love For You makes no warranties of any kind (either expressed or implied) concerning the materials on the site. Further, it does not warrant that transmission of the materials will not be interrupted nor does it warrant that the materials will contain no errors nor that they will be accurate. All products from www.inspirehisloveforyou.com are provided “as-is” without any warranties of any kind whatsoever (either expressed or implied) and you alone assume any and all risk associated with use of these products. By purchase and/or use of this product you waive any claim whatsoever against and hold harmless www.inspirehisloveforyou.com and any of its officers, staff, advisors, representatives, or designees that may arise from such use. Our products are not substitutes for professional help and we recommend women who feel unsafe in their relationships with men or feel that they are a harm to themselves or others should seek professional help immediately. Bless you.
Dating Is Like Dieting! Time To Think Smart About Emotionally Unavailable Men
My father once told me that the most important decision a woman can make in life is to find a good man and not let an emotionally unavailable man ruin my self-esteem and waste my time. I think my dad’s love help advice is something that both women and men can benefit from learning about love and relationships.
It’s amazing to me how many smart, professionally successful, sexy, soulful, sensual and sweet women get wrapped up in emotionally unavailable men. And guess what? I don’t blame them, because to a big extent, I blame society.
Society promotes unhealthy, unrequited, dysfunctional love like it’s a fantasy about to come true. While there are so many campaigns to get children and teens eating healthier and learning better in school, there are only dysfunctional relationship movies like Twilight that are teaching young people about love, or rather, I should say, codependency.
Goddess Love Help: Looking For Love Should Be A Self-Loving Experience Like Changing To A Healthy Diet Or Investing Money In Higher Education
Most women who get tangled up in emotionally unavailable men would never let themselves be unhealthy in other ways. These women care deeply about their physical health. They work out; they are disciplined about eating well. They take time for leisurely activities like meditation and trips to the beach with friends.
These women are also proactive about their careers and aren’t afraid to reach for their career dreams. They don’t get caught up in negative thought patterns at work or within their own families; however…
With men, these women are messes in dresses!
I know because I was one!
Are you one too?
What I Learned About The Relationship Between Love & Discipline When It Comes To Emotionally Unavailable Men
If you want a great body, you have to do the work and make the sacrifices. No more cake, and “hello there” apples and green beans! Well, what I learned about love and emotionally unavailable men is that love is like dieting and emotionally unavailable men are potato chips, deep fried brownies and pizza with the works!
Sure emotionally unavailable men are fun to chase. Many of them have perfected what I call “the first act” because they never have relationships that last long enough to get to even the intermission, no less get through the whole play. These men are addictive and their intermittent rewards (they lovingly respond to our advances only some of the time) are so delicious it can feel like you are riding high on heroin while in their arms.
But when it comes down to it, they are destroying your mind, heart and self-esteem just like a drug.
But Women Always Tell Me; “I Love Him! I Have To Have Him!”
I know how it feels to love someone who you know isn’t good for you. I know how hard it is to break away or how easy it is to make excuses for emotionally unavailable men.
However, just like I could say, “But I love the idea of earning money by not doing anything or getting a great, high-paying job without going to school or building my resume slowly”, I could also say, “But I love emotionally unavailable men and I want this one man to love me! Why can’t I just fight for him instead of go out and find a nice man who doesn’t make me as crazy with love?”
If you want to be happy and healthy you have to do the work! It’s that simple.
Ultimately, It’s About What Matters Most To YOU
Is love addiction (that’s what is happening when you love emotionally unavailable men) really an addiction? Is sex addiction? Is gambling or any other addiction that isn’t literally a chemical addiction? I think so. But I also think that even with an addiction that’s out of your control, you have to want to be sober more than be “high”.
If you don’t have a dream relationship in your head, if you don’t see yourself desperately wanting a loving home with a good husband, children and lots of laughter and family moments together, you may spend forever chasing emotionally unavailable men.
Maybe you don’t have a dream relationship but you are just in so much pain from emotionally unavailable men that you know your patterns have to stop. It’s like obese women who don’t have a dream body in mind but know that if they don’t lose weight, they will end up with serious problems up the road. And just like it takes their general practitioner to scare them into changing their diet, I’m here to force women to look at their love lives from a mature and responsible perspective.
So it’s up to you to know what’s important. But just remember that the choices you make today concerning men really do have a lasting impact. Every emotionally unavailable man you chase ends up scaring your heart and self-worth in a way that’s hard to fix up the road.
So How Do I Know Which Are The Emotionally Unavailable Men?
Do you really need a checklist? Deep down, women always know.
If he doesn’t feel for you what you feel for him and if he isn’t showing signs of wanting and striving for a commitment with you, he’s one of the many emotionally unavailable men out there.
Even if he was coming on strong in the beginning and especially if he was coming on too strong in the beginning, he can still be emotionally unavailable. The hardest thing about breaking free from a man like this is that you get addicted to the beginning of the relationship and trying to get it back. But it’s not coming back because the whole thing with emotionally unavailable men is that the closer you get emotionally, the more they have to break away.
Yes, they come back. Yes, they come back fully invested and ready for a commitment. But nothing about the level of commitment in their heart deepens. And… it’s only a matter of time before they get emotionally distant aand pull back again.
Check out my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You and learn all about my enchantress secrets that, when followed like”goddess love help” rules, will build your self-confidence and put you on a healthy man diet! Dating advice for women is all about spotting “binge dating” before it destroys you!
Dating Advice For Women: How To Win A Man’s Heart
How high is your “cherish quotient”? Win a man’s heart & fill him with lust…
If you want to win a man’s heart you have to understand what I call your “cherish quotient”– how cherishable you are! A man can care about you, like you, desire you or even love you, but to make him fall in love with you, you have to make him cherish you like an angel. He also has to cherish you like a hot sexy mama that he doesn’t ever want to stop sleeping with.
To make a man feel both safe coming closer to you emotionally while also inspiring him want to ravish you senseless is the KILLAH COMBO that will win a man’s heart. When you accomplish both of these things, you have a high cherish quotient!
Love Help On Making Him Feel Safe Coming Closer Emotionally
A HUGE mistake a lot of women make is thinking that care taking will make a man feel emotionally safe coming closer. This couldn’t be further from the truth. You aren’t going to win a man’s heart with caregiving!
If you think that a man is going to have a heart-to-heart emotional connection with you because you do things for him like cook for him, clean for him, buy him things, excuse his poor behavior because he is an addict or just plain immature– you are mistaken.
Love Help: Being the “Good Woman” Doesn’t Necessarily Add To Your Cherish Quotient
A man may appreciate these acts of service and kindness. He may call you a “good woman” and brag about how good you are to him to his friends and family. He may talk about how he SHOULD marry you because you’re good—heck he may have married you because you’re a good woman. But being a good woman isn’t going to win a man’s heart—it may make him fall further in love, but it’s not going to do anything if he isn’t already madly in love.
Being a good woman is possibly going to maybe make him think twice before leaving you or cheating on you, depending on his conscience. However, it may also make him think he can treat you like a doormat—depending on whether he’s compassionate and if you treat him better than you treat yourself.
It’s All About The Feelings You Can Prick & Provoke With Your Emotional Life
A heart-to-heart connection starts and ends with you’re ability to use your emotions to provoke feelings in him for you and for life, in general. You’ll often hear me talking about making a man feel alive inside. If you want to win a man’s heart, you have to make him feel like his moments with you are the moments in which he feels the most connected to his own existence.
Romantic love really isn’t about feeling something for another person as much as it’s a coveting and loving of the way another person makes you feel inside. It can be about selfless acts and unconditional commitment if you both are mature and capable partners, but the foundation is selfish and based on stirred-up feelings.
Why Drama Queens Grab Men’s Attention
I used to be a drama queen and boy, was I a headache. I didn’t mean to be dramatic—no drama queen wants to be; however, I was such a whirlwind of spewed, uncontained emotion, it was probably exhausting to be around me. However, I used to attract a lot of men—not for long, of course, because they would get tired of my antics. I never won their hearts, but I certainly captured their interest and intrigue, and a lot of that was because I was dramatic.
Now—I’m NOT telling you to be a drama queen to win a man’s heart. And if you are, keep reading my dating advice for women because these ways of relating that I’m going to talk about are far more effective than dramatics. However, I first want to say that I mention drama queens because I want to explain why they attract men.
Drama queens make men feel alive inside. Because they are so impulsive, sensitive and uncontained, it’s as if they are turning up the volume on his emotional states so high that he is able to feel himself through her drama. Drama is infectious; the more you are around it, the more it stirs things up inside you and the next thing you know, you are taking a roller coaster ride with the dramatic person—experiencing their highs and lows.
Highs and lows are addictive. I’m sure you’ve met a bad boy or two that set you off on an emotional roller coaster. Getting away from toxic relationship problems is hard—we plug into the pain.
Make Him Feel Alive In A Safe Way To Win A Man’s Heart
You don’t have to take a man on a roller coaster ride to love you. In fact, only the men who are damaged and terrified of commitment and love will stick around for the roller coaster. You can win a man’s heart by helping him explore his depth through your vulnerability.
When you can be vulnerable with a man and show him a secret peek deep inside your heart, you open doors in his. We learn about ourselves through our relationships and the more you can show a man that you are in touch with your feelings, can easily share your feelings and can deal with your feelings maturely and in a healthy way, the more you can show him how to process his own.
Men Have A Hard Time Processing Feelings
Men have been told since they were small to “man up”. They don’t know how to tackle all their feelings. Most of them lead with anger or self-loathing feelings because they don’t know how to process sad, or even tender, happy feelings. When you can help him feel his own inner life, he won’t be able to forget you or be away from you. You will be like a roadmap for him to get to his own heart. That is when a connection happens– that’s when you win a man’s heart and stamp it with your name!
A simple talk about your feelings and your fears can lead to a major conversation about his own repressed feelings and emotional needs. When you share your inner goddess world with him, a door inside him opens that can’t be closed again—it may terrify him, anger him, make him try to push you away… But ultimately, it will magnetize him to you.
It will also make him want to ravish you senseless.
There Is Something About Our Vulnerability That Drives Men Crazy With Desire
A recent study revealed that men are aroused by women who appear vulnerable. Now, I don’t want you to be or appear weak or susceptible—that’s different. When a woman is weak or susceptible, it makes her needy.
Most men think that vulnerable women are trouble. This study also revealed that these same men, who were attracted to photos of women in vulnerable poses, also said that they would never date these women. The reason probably has to do with how draining a vulnerable woman can be when she doesn’t have a strong, malleable center that grounds her to the earth.
When you are an enchantress/goddess/siren you are vulnerable but you are NOT susceptible. You are able to share you softer, tender loving feelings, but you aren’t a train wreck. You aren’t a doormat or a needy wet blanket. An enchantress is supple and soft hearted AND she knows when she is simply not going to tolerate bad treatment. She also knows how to take care of her emotions and self-soothe and not claw at a man to make him take care of her uncontainable feelings.
MAKING HIM WANT TO RAVISH YOU
To accomplish the other half of having a high cherish quotient, you have to make him want to ravish you senseless. Though physical chemistry is thought to only be an inexplicable and natural thing, it can actually be cultivated.
To increase a man’s attraction for you and to win his heart , you should walk around on this earth like a goddess from another world who owns her sensuality. When you can feel fluid, luscious, doughy, fluffy, and warm in your body– with heightened senses and a quiet mind that allows you to live in the moment– you can seduce a man.
A sensual woman who brings a man into the moment makes a man feel his own aliveness. This makes him feel his own body and takes him out of his mind. When this happens he is in the relaxed state for attraction to build. His body feel alive, he is lost in you and the moment and arousal builds.
You don’t have to be beautiful with a dynamo body. You just have to own the body and looks you do have. You have to walk in your curves and not have abusive thoughts about your self-image. You have to take care of your looks by indulging yourself with luxurious and yummy-smelling perfume oils, body lotions and body washes.
You don’t have to wear a lot of makeup or get tarted-up. You just have to do what you can to feel good about yourself. Forget about obsessing over what he will think; wear what makes you feel sexy inside. When you feel good about what you are wearing—he feels good around you because you have more confidence and freedom to let loose in the moment.
If you want to know more about how to win a man’s heart– how to make a man come closer emotionally and attracting men with your sensuality, check out my eProgram, Inspire His Love For You. It’s jammed packed full of very helpful, effective tips, insight and tools to bring that special man close!
Need A Status Makeover? Interview With Rachel Russo Of StatusMakeover.com
Looking for a status makeover?
If you’re single or in a relationship and want to tie the knot, my friend and fellow dating coach Rachel Russo can help you find Mr. Right and inspire him to take the plunge!
Rachel, a NYC-based Dating, Relationship, & Image Coach for marriage-minded singles and couples, is sassy, smart and very knowledgable. With a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy, Rachel offers her Status Makeover coaching sessions to help women buff and polish their goddess energy. She’ll give you confidence, happiness and a li’l sexy in your step to go out into the world and rope in the most fabulous man, effortlessly!
Rachel took some time out from her busy schedule to answer a few questions for my readers. Read on to discover some amazing online dating tips, advice how on to approach the “talk” about commitment, and more…
You refer to your single and couples coaching sessions as status makeover courses? I love the idea of a status makeover—going for “It’s complicated” or “Is single” to “in a relationship”! Without giving too much away, what would you tell women to expect from a coaching session with you?
The philosophy of Status Makeover is that we should love our love lives—no matter what our status. In an initial coaching session, I’d take an assessment of a woman’s love life. I’d learn the details of her relationship history and her beliefs about dating, relationships, love, and marriage. I’d listen closely to her story to pinpoint patterns and trends. Together, we’d determine her strengths, weakness, opportunities, and threats for achieving her goals for the future. Whether a female client wants to end, find, or keep love, my job in an initial session is to provide her with a solid, fun, efficient, and effective plan for how to do it.
You say that your coaching programs for singles are designed for those people who have it all and just want a great love life. Why do you think there are so many fabulous people who are single? Is it just that they haven’t had time for love, had bad luck in the past or is there some other personality factor that keeps a smart, sexy, got-it-all gal from finding the relationship she deserves?
There are a lot of fabulous people who are single because they have spent most of their life focused on making themselves fabulous. Women today are socialized to develop their career first and then find a man. Many focus too much on work, and before they know it they are never married forty-year olds competing with twenty-five years olds for the few good relationship-oriented men that are still standing. Other women simply spent too many of their best years in love with the wrong guys.
On your site, StatusMakeover.com, you claim that you can show a woman how to look at a man’s online dating profile and see if he’s worth her time. It’s really interesting. What’s one thing you would advise women to look for when scrolling through profiles?
Of course you can’t always judge a book by its cover, but when it comes to online dating profiles; it is in a woman’s best interest to avoid men with red flags. If a woman is looking for a man who is serious about getting married, a short and crappy profile is a red flag. Marriage-minded men get professional headshots and create well-written, detailed profiles. They take the time to make a good first impression because they are genuinely looking for love.
You also offer relationship counseling. What can a woman do to help spice up her sex life with her man? What can she do to build emotional intimacy? Do you think sex and emotional intimacy go hand-in-hand in a long-term relationship?
There are plenty of things a woman can do to keep things hot in the bedroom from roleplaying, sex toys, sensual massages, and sexy outfits, to just reading each other sex scenes in romance novels. Emotional intimacy can be built through open and honest conversations—sans the judgments. A woman needs to share her feelings and show vulnerability with her man so he feels safe doing the same. I think sex is better when there is emotional intimacy, but some couples can still have satisfying sex lives without the intimacy.
Having the “talk” about commitment is really scary for women because it can easily push a man away. What do you advise a woman should say or not say to help get her man to open up and talk honestly and lovingly about where he is at in the relationship?
Call me old school, but I believe a man should lead in terms of relationship progression. I don’t advise women to initiate conversation about where the relationship stands. I believe that if a man wants a serious commitment, a woman will know it. All she can do is be open and honest about how she feels and hope he will be on the same page. With men, actions speak louder than words. If a woman doesn’t see that a guy wants to be serious, she should assume he isn’t ready or willing to commit and keep her options open.
Confidence is so important when dating. It makes a woman or man attractive and easy to be with. However, if a woman doesn’t have much confidence, what do you advise that she can do to feel better about herself and appear more radiantly confident?
If a woman is lacking confidence, I suggest that she give herself and her living space a makeover. When we look beautiful and are surrounded by beauty, we feel beautiful. Sometimes just cleaning out your closet and creating new outfits out of what you already have can make you feel incredibly powerful. Once a woman starts feeling empowered-and not a victim of her circumstances-she naturally radiates confidence.
How can a woman who wants to have a status makeover get in touch with you?
If she’s just flirting with the idea, she can tweet me @RachelTRusso
If she’s pretty much ready to get started, she can email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com
If she wants to start making over her love life today, she can call me at 973 223 6406.
Be A Man Magnet & Fondue Yourself
If you want to be a man magnet, you have to give him incentive to come closer. By incentive I DON’T mean you coming closer to him by doing things for him, dressing like the woman you think he wants, etc. I mean that you have to draw him in with your authenticity– almost by accident. With your vulnerability.
When you can soften your edges, you create a safe, tender, sweet and cozy place for a man to let down his guard and share his underbelly. Men have it tough in society, and they have so many emotional walls as a result of having to “man up” all the time. It’s important for a man to find that special woman who makes him feel emotionally safe to expose his vulnerability and who guides him toward an effective way for him to process his emotions.
How To Soften Your Edges & Be A Man Magnet!
Time to take your rough, severe corners and soften them. Time to feel like buttery velvet inside and out. Time to walk, talk and act like the kind of woman who’s sensual, fleshy and cozy like a microfiber bathrobe. That’s the kind of woman a man wants to rub up against—physically and emotionally.
Think of yourself as fondue. If you currently have a lot of brittle, “ice queen” energy, it’s time to take your hard chocolate bar and melt it into a sweet, soft, sassy and succulent woman!
Goddess Love Help: Owning Your Feelings
Softening is about owning your feelings and heightening your senses. Too many people think that owning feelings is about walling up and hardening your heart. This is actually DISOWNING your feelings.
Owning your feelings is about knowing yourself, feeling all your emotion, processing feelings and not letting them make choices for you. When you hide your feelings and stay unemotional, your subconscious starts wreaking havoc on your relationships. Your motives become suspicious and you don’t even see it. Suddenly, relationship problems rain down on you and you start to feel victimized!
You start care-giving and catering and pretending you’re something you aren’t and suddenly he feels controlled and managed.
How To Soften
It’s time to get out of your head and into your heart. It’s time to step into the NOW and celebrate the moment. Instead of trying to snag, trap and hook a man into a commitment, let’s work on what YOU feel inside at any given moment (breath by breath, I call it) and how your feelings surrounding your relationships with men are affecting your overall happiness.
Next time you are with a man, keep the focus off him. Forget analyzing his thoughts, his behavior, his words, etc. Forget strategies to make him happy and get him to love you. Instead, focus on what you feel while with him. Focus on how his energy, his behavior, his life-force makes you feel.
You’ll notice trends. You’ll see that a certain man actually makes you feel bad, anxious and insecure and that you’ve been masking those feelings by chasing him. You’ll see that the boring guys you aren’t attracted to are actually the ones who make you feel nice and safe and blissful.
Focusing on your feelings helps you get back in charge of your self-worth and that softens you.
When you step into your feelings (taking the time to check in with yourself) you start feeling empowered. You start realizing what makes you unhappy and happy and you start making subtle shifts to self-soothe. This grounds you. This makes you stop looking to him to “save” your yucky feelings and puts you in the driver’s seat of your heart.
When you self-soothe and listen to your soul and heart, your brittleness falls away. You start TRUSTING yourself to take care of yourself. This allows you to be vulnerable with men and be soft around them because you aren’t as sensitive to their woundings. See, we get frosty with men because we are soooo mushy inside. It’s time to be mushy on the outside and grounded on the inside.
Feeling your emotions is the first step. However, heightening your senses is important for making him attracted to you. When you enjoy the textures, sounds, visuals, tastes and smells around you, you lure a man into your world. He wants to get lost in you. He wants you to be his vacation.
Just like you go on vacation to pretty places to eat amazing food and make love in comfy hotel beds, a man wants to feel like time with you is a celebration of life. He wants to witness you enjoying what you see, hear, touch, smell and taste when out with him. It’s Oohs and Ahhs. It’s squeals and hypnotic whispers. It’s tears over a breathtaking sunset and a sexy dance when an R&B song hits the radio… He then feels alive in your presence.
Making a man feel alive inside makes you a man magnet!
Check out my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. It’s dating advice for women (or love help for those with relationship problems) about how to be a man magnet and enchant men with your soft outsides and strong, grounded insides.