Why Personal Boundaries Make Him Love You
Personal boundaries do 2 things: They make you more soft, sweet and vulnerable AND they act on your behalf as a guardian that demands respect from men. These two byproducts of having personal boundaries up your worth in a man’s eyes!
Men say they want easygoing women who don’t bust their balls and give them tons of space. They are LYING!
When men have doormat girlfriends (or when a girl doesn’t care how a man treats her or that he prioritize the relationship) they feel dissatisfied. The doormat girlfriend makes him feel like he could do better (after all, who wants to be with someone who has no self-esteem). The girlfriend who doesn’t care how he acts, leaves him feeling unloved and under appreciated.
Men want and need partners who show them the value of mutuality, intimacy and partnership. When a woman has personal boundaries she does this for her man. She acts as the LOVE GUIDE and through her actions and words, she gives him a guide map (or a manual, if you will) how how to be in a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship.
Men are like border collies– they are workers! They like to work for their woman. They just need to be shown HOW to work to earn her love.
Personal Boundaries Remove Emotional Walls!
The more boundaries you put up around a relationship (and the more you STICK to these boundaries), the more you trust yourself. When you know when and how to step back from a relationship to take care of yourself and redirect negative thoughts and feelings back to peaceful ones, you feel confident and powerful as an individual.
When you can trust yourself and feel powerful and confident as an individual, you will lose any brittleness with a man. You will also stop sending him mixed messages and acting dramatic about things, and will instead be inviting, calm and loving with your energy.
See, when your boundaries are down, you have one foot on the gas and one on the brakes. You pull him toward you (being too aggressive and eager), while also being too paranoid and acting too sensitive as a result (picking fights, giving him the silent treatment, refusing to communicate your needs and expecting that he read your mind, etc.) This “one foot on the brakes and one on the gas” dynamic has the same effect on a relationship as it does on a vehicle– no movement. If anything the relationship or the car breaks down.
When you have boundaries, you are in CRISUE CONTROL. You are more kind, calm, loving and sweet. You know when enough is enough and you trust that you will actually do something about a bad situation instead of just complain.
When you trust yourself to do something proactive and self-loving during a bad situation, you can more easily exist in the moment. You’ll know deep down that if something goes wrong, you will have the self-disapline and self-love to do what you have to to take care of yourself. This relieves the Anxiety Centers in your brain.
Personal Boundaries Increase Your Price Tag
Ever heard a man explain how a woman becomes more “valuable” in his eyes if she doesn’t sleep with him too soon? This is because men like to hunt. Men like to feel like a woman values herself enough to not “give the milk without buying the cow first”.
Boundaries exist to protect your feelings and when you stick to your boundaries, you are indirectly telling a man, “Hey, I care about my feelings and I don’t want to hurt like this.” This shows him that you love yourself. And know why this is important to him? Because men believe that the way you love yourself is an indicator of how well you will love them.
If you don’t take proper care of yourself, a man thinks “Well, she probably won’t take proper care of me (and our relationship) either.” See, we women can put a man’s happiness in front of our happiness, but a man doesn’t usually do this. It’s a biological gender thing. So, he doesn’t understand how you, as a woman, might put him first over yourself and be a good wife even if you aren’t kind to your own soul and body. He just assumes that you will treat him like you do yourself. For this reason, you have to stick to your boundaries and show him that you respect yourself.
If you want to learn how to implement boundaries (hey, it’s easy to have them and tough to stick to them), take a look at my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. It’s all about increasing your price tag and feeling better about yourself in the process. Being an enchantress is all about self-worth and removing those emotional walls!
Love Advice: What Are Personal Boundaries?
In my Inspire His Love For You eProgram, I offer a FREE bonus of VIP private email coaching. One of my VIP clients just asked me to further explain what I mean by having personal boundaries with a man.
Her question inspired me to clarify my definition of personal boundaries to help other women who may not understand my usage of this term.
Personal boundaries are the lines a person draws in the sand surrounding a relationship. They are protective limitations you put around the connection you share with a man in order to stay happy and confident as an individual and not lose yourself in that partnership.
Personal boundaries are usually defined once you hit your threshold of pain and suffering with a man. It’s through experience that we learn what we want and absolutely don’t want in a relationship. Of course, it’s always best to not get to that point, but sometimes we have to live it out to know better.
The important thing, the thing that separates a smart woman from a doormat, is to not make the same mistakes over and over with men and to instead implement personal boundaries in that relationship.
The First Step Toward Implementing Boundaries In a Relationship: Stop Looking The Other Way
Sometimes we remain quiet too long with a man who repeatedly disappoints us. Because we fear upsetting him, we stay mum and try to tolerate as much pain as we can.
We make excuses for him in our minds. We have selective memories, and we keep forgetting how much pain the relationship causes us. We choose to only focus on the tiny windows of joy that his love provides us once in blue moon.
When you stay silent and make excuses for him, you’re slowly deciding to not listen to your soul. That tiny voice in your head that tells you to love yourself more than any man must be heard. If you choose to ignore this voice, you’ll stop standing up for yourself. The voice will totally diminish the longer you grin and bear it. At that point, you lose yourself and your sense of self worth.
Listen To Your Feelings
The best way to implement a personal boundary is to state your feelings aloud as often as possible. If you find yourself getting anxious, paranoid, angry, sad… whatever emotion that comes over you, simply say it out loud, “I feel _____ right now.”
The reason you do this is to honor your self-loving side by respecting your emotions. Our emotions exist as alarm bells to tell us when something is effecting our self-esteem. Lots of times when we feel upset in a relationship, it’s because something has been done to us that we don’t like. It could be a small rejection, but it still feels awful. You have to tell a man when he makes you feel crippled inside.
Once you speak your feelings out loud more often, you will establish a better relationship with yourself where you stop pushing down feelings and start taking care of your soul. Your confidence will upsurge and the relationship will feel immediately feel better.
Say Your Boundaries Aloud
After you state your feelings, you ALSO say that you don’t want to feel that way, “I feel sad. I don’t want to feel sad. I don’t want to date a guy who ignores my calls.”
This “don’t want” statement is your boundary. Maybe he’ll change his ways, maybe not, but the important thing is that you stated your boundary aloud. Your declaration in that moment was you putting up a boundary.
Eventually over time, your confidence will grow the more you state your boundaries aloud. If he’s a good man, he will work hard to honor your boundaries and the love will remain. But no matter how he reacts, you have a duty to your soul to strive to not feel powerless to love, but invigorated by it. When you ignore boundaries, you become powerless to a man and your self-worth wilts.
Personal Boundaries Are Also About Not Letting Something Fester
Boundaries should be put in place surrounding your thoughts. If you find yourself too obsessed with a man, thinking about him too much and pushing yourself into a spiral of victimizing thoughts, you have to put up a boundary around how long you will let yourself suffer (and too what degree) over an issue.
At some point you have to take a breath and force yourself to do something positive and uplifting for your soul. You have to break the the hold he has over your thoughts and emotions. The more hold he has, the more power he has to destroy you. Don’t let that happen.
Personal Boundaries Should Be About Your Actions
So a man’s behavior upsets you. You put up a boundary by saying, “I feel upset.” And then you take it further by saying, “I don’t want to feel this bad in a relationship!” Hopefully he will respect your words and apologize. If he does nothing to fix the situation, it’s up to you to take care of yourself.
You can break up with him, leave the room, take some time to recoup from the pain, etc. The point is you avoid getting wrapped up in wanting and needing him to do anything or say anything. It’s not about him. It’s about you and taking care of yourself.
Boundaries can be about no longer catering to him, giving him things, etc. You have to protect yourself and not keep setting yourself up to get hurt. It’s not about punishing him or threatening him—it’s not about him at all. It’s just about you keeping and maintaining your confidence and sense of self.
Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You (my ebook for women who want to enchant men)
Remove Emotional Walls & Put Up Personal Boundaries
In relationships, we usually have too many emotional walls instead of having healthy personal boundaries.
It’s not easy to get close to a man. It’s scary and it puts us at risk of abandonment and rejection. However, not risking these things can leave us unfulfilled and hungry for affection and emotional connection.
So what do you do to pull down emotional walls and risk vulnerability with men?
Well, you start by having personal boundaries and that is a heck of a lot easier done than said. There are so many people in our lives whom preach about sticking up for yourself and not accepting crap from a man, as if changing men was as easy as changing your underwear. It’s hard when you are emotionally connected to someone to stick up for your needs and risk losing that person. And it’s really hard to say goodbye even when you know you should.
The key to having personal boundaries is to not ignore the early warning signs before its too late and your heart’s involved. I would bet to say that every single woman who has gotten herself in a pickle with a bad guy knew early on that he was bad news. I hear the same story over and over from women about how a guy was so wonderful and invested and then turned around and became disenchanted. And though I’m not saying that a good guy can’t become disinterested (because they can and do),I always know when a woman is lying to herself about never having seen the warning signs.
Read More From This Love Advice Blog: More Romance, Please! The Way To Get Him To Be Romantic
Even if a guy is a sweetheart to you during the first weeks/months of your dating relationship, look at the rest of his life. Look at his track record with women and the way he treats the people he loves. There are always signs. Now, no man is perfect, of course, and you have to settle in some departments, but emotionally unavailable or emotionally guarded men should be a no-go. And these men are easy to spot off-the-bat; they give you a gut feeling of insecurity and that feeling never stays at bay for long.
If You Have Been With Him A While
If you have a hard time putting up boundaries around a relationship because you have so much invested in the man, start simple and small. Start slowly taking your life back. Start spending less and less time with him and more and more time with yourself. Start doing things that feel good and try to stop engaging in drama.
So… your guy cheats. It upsets you and you often fight about it. You sneak around behind his back and check his emails, you ‘google’ the women’s names, you complain to anyone who will still listen, you choose to ignore it for a while and then find out more and feel betrayed all over again. You basically expend a lot of energy on trying to combat his infidelity.
Well, what if you could do less of this and just say “f*ck it and his cheating ways? What if every time you had that jealous, angry, betrayed, heartbroken feeling, you just let the feeling wash over you? What if you just breathed, cried, beat a pillow (whatever you have to do to get it out) and stopped yourself from acting on these feelings? And what if, when the feelings subsided a bit, you could redirect that energy and turn it into passion for something else? Maybe went to get a massage or read a book. Maybe worked on a project or picked up a new hobby.
Read More From This Love Advice Blog: How To Mesmerize Men Using Your Feminine Power [VIDEO]
The point is not to force yourself to do something else and not to busy yourself with other things to the point of brushing feelings under the rug, but instead to feel everything and do nothing about those feelings (no engaging him in arguments, talks, pleas, no engaging loved ones in endless venting sessions and no engaging yourself in finding out more about what he’s up to).
If you do this, slowly over time what will happen is that you will be better able to see the relationship for what it is—not something that adds to your life the way it is. If in that time, your man wants to be more available to you and accountable to the relationship, then see where that takes you both, but the important thing is not to get caught up in trying to change him. You can’t. It’s impossible to make someone change. You can only inspire him to want to change and that involves having personal boundaries and less drama.
Breaking Down Emotional Walls
Emotional walls get built brick-by-brick when we feel vulnerable inside. When we feel at risk for danger, our hearts have to go into hiding. Emotional walls make love impossible and as long as you have them, you will attract the wrong men and push the right men away.
Emotional walls are funny in that they actually make you more sensitive. You read into everything, assume the worst and/or shut yourself down at the slightest provocation. Emotional walls make you a victim and the surprising thing is that a lot of women are very cozy-comfortable being victims.
Yep. Lots of women don’t know what else to be but victims. There’s actually power in being a victim. You have the power of unaccountability. As a victim you are always right—he did it to me, I am so susceptible to bad guys, I never have luck with relationships, I tried so hard and for nothing, I suffer and suffer and all I do be the good wife who doesn’t deserve this… You’re never at fault as the victim and therefore, you never have to do anything to change your ways. You can go on making bad choices and blaming others for your pain—the saying “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” doesn’t apply to you.
Read More From This Love Advice Blog: Showing Affection Won’t Bring Him Back
The problem with being a victim is that you will always have pain. Your life will revolve around your pain and you will become so attached to your pain, you won’t know who you are without it. Sound dramatic? It’s actually tragic but it’s a very real and scary reality for a lot of people.
Don’t Victimize Yourself. Take Care Of #1
A healthy person experiences pain, an unhealthy victim, with too many emotional walls, LIVES pain. The only way to get out of this cycle is to start finding ways to stop feeling pain and start feeling good about yourself and your choices. That’s where the personal boundaries come in. Once you start having boundaries you stop accepting pain and start making choices against it.
If you think you are suffering from an inability to share yourself with men, stop concentrating on men altogether and start concentrating on yourself. Start with your feelings and finding your emotional, mental and physical needs in life. Do what you can to self-provide your needs without the assistance of men.
Then, before you get too comfortable being too independent, start taking baby steps back toward your relationship or the dating world. Every time you find yourself marinating in the pain, stop yourself and go back to taking care of you. Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable being vulnerable with men and knowing the difference between feeling like a duck out of water when expressing vulnerability with a man and feeling bad with a man. One will feel new, awkward and will provoke anxiety. The other will feel familiar and provoke obsessing thoughts and extreme levels of emotional response.
Inspire His Love For You (my empowering eProgram for women)
Inspire His Love For You
“Keep Reading To Learn About The SECRET RELATIONSHIP GUIDE BOOKS For Women That Will Make Him Addicted To You Forever… Even If He’s Currently Showing Little To No Interest!”
From the Desks of: Relationship Experts Sarah Jeanette & Kristina Marchant
Hello. We are Kristina & Sarah and we’ve spent our lives helping women just like you heal and save their love lives.
You are on this site searching for answers. That means you are proactive– the kind of positive and determined woman any man would be LUCKY to have in his life.
“Right Now You Aren’t Being Loved The Way You Deserve!”
If you are being ignored…
Or if his behavior is making you feel jealous & insecure…
Or if you’re analyzing everything he does…
Then this may be the most important letter you could read right now!
Unfortunately, love issues are TIME-SENSITIVE. Once a man goes from hot to cold, your window of opportunity is small.
So let’s get right to it:
- Does he only want a sexual relationship with you?
- Do you get used for your kind heart?
- Has he already asked for space?
- Does he “forget” to get back to you?
- Is he threatening to leave you?
- Is he cheating?
- Has his desire for sex with you all but DIMINISHED?
- Is he DEVOID of tenderness and passion?
- Do you feel like you walk on egg shells around him?
- Has he stopped complimenting you?
Don’t worry if these scenarios sound familiar; there is GOOD NEWS. We can help you today. We’ve been doing this awhile and we assure you that whatever your situation, we’ve helped a relationship come back from worse.
Even if he’s already left you for another woman there is still hope.
“We’ve Been In Your Shoes & Turned Our Love Lives Completely Around!”
Before we became highly sought-out experts on men and love, we were “messes in dresses”! We had psych degrees from impressive colleges but knew nothing when it came having and sustaining real life relationships.
If you answered “yes” to questions above, we both know exactly how you feel. Kristina’s husband just up and left one day. He filed for divorce weeks later. Then, she was left again by a great man who, at first, called her “his miracle”.
And Sarah had dead-end relationships with men for years– relationships that all once seemed so promising.
We were always so shocked at how FAST things seemed to fall apart. We went from being pampered, praised and adored to being emotionally dropped. We went from being the man’s top priority to his “afterthought”: something he thought about after his children, his job, his parents, his hobbies, etc.
“It Was The Same Heartbreaking Outcome Each Time We Liked A Guy”
- When things were good in our relationships, we felt strong and supported. We felt confident.
- When things were bad, we would act impulsively from a terrified, weak place inside us. We felt out of control; we pushed men further and further away by spiraling into a black hole of insecurity.
We’d be obsessed with a man’s behavior (what it all really meant) and we would over-think everything we said and did.
Not to mention, we would CATER to our distant and distracted men: more sex, more smiles, more jumping through hoops to plan the perfect date or the perfect text message.
But no matter what we tried, men remained distant and seemingly uninspired to love us and honor the relationship.
“Don’t Make The Fatal Mistakes Most Women Make When A Mall Pulls Back”
Mistake #1: Fill In the Spaces Where He Has Gone Lax
Most smart and successful professional women know what it takes to get ahead in business, but putting in sweat, blood and tears won’t win you back a man like it will a job promotion.
- Convincing him of why he should be with you
- Planning elaborate dates in hopes he will want to go
- Helping him do things that he should be doing for himself (paying his bills, etc.)
- Catering to him with massages or “performance sex”
- Making/buying him li’l gifts and sweet lovey cards
- Fighting for his love while he sits back
…you are not helping yourself.
You are actually rewarding him for bad behavior. You are indirectly saying, “Treat me poorly and I’ll give you more attention and fight harder for you.” You have to reward a man only for good behavior, and right now, that may be hard to come by.
Now I’m not saying he won’t appreciate your efforts. He may truly be grateful for your help and attention, but your efforts won’t make you more attractive. They may even push him further away.
“Thank you for writing this guide to love. I feel like books I read about men tell you an end-result of the kind of woman a man loves but these books detail how to get there.” -Greta, 63
Mistake #2: Keep Silent, Remain Closed Off & Stay Afraid
It’s a natural response when a man pulls back to want to shut up and not do anything that would further ruffle his feathers. But when you stop speaking your mind to please a man, you look weak and FEEL weak inside, which makes you act like a DOORMAT.
When a man can sense that you aren’t comfortable opening up to him about your feelings, he feels like he isn’t doing a good job at making you feel safe.
Even if your man doesn’t make you feel safe, he still would rather hear you speak up and express your concerns over watch you suffer silently out of fear.
Thinking that you are afraid to speak up will make him feel like the bad guy and he will pull back.
Plus, your lack of honesty will further disconnect the relationship.
- Inspire passion in his heart
- Have a more satisfying relationship, where he “shows up” fully.
- Feel like a new woman inside.
Mistake #3: Victimize Yourself By Whining, Crying & Screaming
Men want to please women. It allows them to feel their “power to provide”. However…
Once he starts to wall you off, you can’t harp on him about how much you hurt inside and how much you need him to work harder for your love. Once he starts laying emotional bricks between you, it’s just a matter of time before he loses attraction and even starts feeling APATHY toward you.
Look, it’s human nature to get LOUDER and more DESPERATE the longer you go unheard. However, turning up the volume makes him TURN THE CHANNEL. You end up totally tuned out.
Even though you have EVERY RIGHT to feel upset about not being heard, love isn’t about who is right. It’s about doing what works: crying, screaming, pouting or any other form of emotional reacting doesn’t work. It makes you feel like A WET BLANKET to him, dragging him down and closing him off.
“I was inspired by your two’s honesty about yourselves and decided to be courageous and speak about my fears to my boyfriend. He was quiet but attentive. I felt like I was naked or like my skin was “unzipping to him”… It was like an experience I had once at church… Well, when we went to sleep later after everything, he thought I was sleeping but I heard him cry. He touched me exactly how you two taught me to touch him and how I did earlier in the night. It was a miracle. I called his sister and told her. Bless you both.”- Nicole, 32
Mistake #4: Play Games With Him
Once you start playing hard-to-get, doing things such as ignoring his calls on purpose, you are setting yourself up to lose him in the long-run. Games only work for a while and they totally undermine trust in a relationship. If he comes back, it won’t be for long and you will have to continue playing games with him to keep him. Games get you a limited man for a limited amount of time.
When you play games, the only thing left in the relationship is POWER. The love is gone, the trust is gone and the two of you are left fighting for attention and control. It’s a lose-lose situation.
“Getting Him Back & Making Him Fall In Love Is Easier Than You Think.”
We make love so complicated and it doesn’t have to be. You already have everything it takes to inspire him. There is a goddess inside you who is dying to break free of the web in which you’ve entangled her so that she can help you save your relationship.
What your inner goddess understands is that you get more from men by doing less.
By doing less, I don’t mean putting a void between you and him to force him to bridge the gap. By doing less I just mean stop doing all the garbage that doesn’t work.
Your mind, your girlfriends, your mom… they are all lying to you. The words we tell ourselves and the advice we gather from loved ones only add more confusion, pain and insecurity. The key is to stop listening!
Start listening to your inner goddess.
“But where is she?,” you ask.
Our program will show you how to reach her. We’ll transform you into your highest self to be the fun, confident, sexy and carefree beauty he wants and needs in his life.
“So What’s The Answer To Bringing Him Closer?”
What your inner goddess innately “gets” is that there’s a secret to making him fall in love:
In love, you have to be TOUGH and TENDER at the same time.
You have to know how to RISK VULNERABILITY and be soft and sensitive yet still able to STAND UP for yourself.
Society has made us all very successful at putting up walls, even when we have no idea we are doing so. It’s important that you don’t have any emotional walls and can be vulnerable around a man. As women, we shutdown, harden and become brittle and too fragile. Too many of us are, unfortunately, like PORCELAIN– hard on the surface yet shattering to pieces at the slightest provocation.
Instead you need to be both MALLEABLE and UNBREAKABLE! You must be like a PALM TREE that bends with the storm to survive the winds.
- Are you currently too hurt and too INSECURE to feel comfortable around him?
- Have you EVER had the kind of relationship in which the man does the work and you just relax into his efforts?
- Do you let HIM be the MAN? Or are you too busy pushing him out of the driver’s seat so you can take the wheel?
“I was so very surprised at how your exercises helped crumble my walls in my relationship with my boyfriend and how well he responded to it. I really love the [Always Planted in Love Exercise].” -Kelly, 28
“You Already Have Everything It Takes & We Can Unleash Your Inner Goddess In An Hour!”
Even if he’s got one foot out the door…
Even if he’s told you he’s not in love with you…
We will take you by the hand and show you how to make him fall in love practically OVERNIGHT.
We will show you how to expose yourself to him fully, without chasing, without pretending, without forcing or getting anxious.
Then and only then, his heart will open.
“Men Don’t Even Know What We Understand About Men!”
Guys are CLUELESS as to how attraction forms. Look what one man wrote to us about other men:
“Your advice is so insightful. Men don’t get it. We don’t understand what makes us fall for a woman. We think sex appeal is about looks or sexual performance. Or we think that a woman is sexy when she keeps you chasing her. We don’t see how a vulnerable and sensual woman melts our hearts and makes us feel comfortable and turned on in their presence. Thank you for helping women understand us better ’cause we don’t have a freakin’ clue what makes us tick!”- Bill, 33
Men think they understand love and what makes them fall for a woman. They don’t. They have no idea.
They talk about wanting a woman who doesn’t bust their balls and gives them heaps of space. But what they don’t know is that they crave a woman who demands trust, honesty, respect and closeness in her relationship.
It’s always the nice, passive and complacent women who remain unmarried. Notice how the demanding women always have a husband?
We DON’T want you to become a bitch or parade around with false confidence. But we do want you to STOP listening to that advice out there telling you to worship a man’s need for space.
Stop trying to be easygoing. Just forget you heard it. It’s all junk that will get you nowhere with a man.
With a man you have to be the LOVE GUIDE and show him with your actions what it means to have a deeply intimate, close and loving partnership with someone. The LOVE GUIDE takes a man from thinking like a single person to thinking like one half of a devoted couple!
This program makes you an effective and cherished LOVE GUIDE!
“These books have been the savior of my self-esteem. I never before understood how to truly connect and share with a man…Kristina and Sarah are loving and non-judgmental teachers who have shown me the way to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Thank you for giving me the tools I need to discover the relationship I’ve always longed for.” – Ginina, 33
Here’s the answer you’ve been looking for:
“Inspire His Love For You Is The Relationship Saver! It’s The Bible On Men And The Mirror Into Which You Can See Your Inner Goddess!”
- Rebuild Intimacy in your relationship and have him touching and kissing again you.
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- Feel and act like a proud, dignified and sexy goddess!
- Have the tools at your fingertips that will keep him devoted, happy & UNDER YOUR LOVE SPELL for the rest of your lives!
Here’s What You’ll Get:
- A 2-volume relationship guide book of over 200 pages on inspiring a man to love and adore you. Direct Download (PDF format /adobe)
- A TRACK OF MEDITATIONS to help guide you.
- A MIND MAP to carry with you when you want to study up on how our insight and techniques interrelate, so that you can master the art of what we call “emotion seduction.”
- A GLOSSARY of all our unique, custom-created love terminology, which will help you scroll through our pages when you are in a hurry and need to find a specific exercise fast.
- Tons of famous, inspirational QUOTES to help encourage you on your journey and make you feel less alone in the process.
Inspire His Love For You VOLUME ONE
- We will teach you how to take all your confusing, hostile, scary, dark emotions and feelings of panic and turn them into peaceful, charming, engaging, trusting, lighthearted feelings that will make a man drawn to you.
- We will give you the number one reason why your fantasy relationship is still a goal and not a reality.
- We will help render your insecurities powerless, while ALSO showing you how to use them to CAPTURE HIS HEART.
- We’ll explain why your energy around a man is more important than what you say or do and simple exercises to instantly feel this vivacious, all-loving, all-trusting energy vibrating through your whole body.
- We’ll explain how to be more accurately AWARE of how your words and behavior are being received by him, in order to know if you are on the right track toward inspiring his love.
- We will help make you much less sensitive to his every movement and sentence, in order to raise your confidence about the relationship and not have you worried all the time about what everything means.
- You’ll get a wonderful exercises to help you quickly SELF-SOOTHE in moments of desperation, when you feel compelled to act compulsively and impulsively with him.
- We’ll explain at length about our concept of Love-Based Giving, and get you giving the best of yourself, from the best place inside you.
- We will teach you HOW to be interesting and dynamic in the eyes of highly intelligent men, even if you feel insecure about your level of intelligence.
- You’ll read about case studies of Friends With Benefits, Wives in Failing Marriages, Girlfriends With Evaporating Boyfriends, and other women in unsatisfying relationships and exactly how we helped all of them win-over the hearts of their men.
- We’ll restore your faith in men and in your man.
- We’ll teach you how to express your needs to him in a manner that will make him jump to serve instead think you are clingy.
- We will give you a secret tool that actresses like Jennifer Aniston, Emma Stone, and Julia Ormond use when acting in romantic comedies, in order to make you feel and act just as adorable, silly, quirky, and lovable as they are.
- You’ll get EXERCISES and TOOLS to give yourself permission to be happy, no matter WHAT a man is doing or saying to you.
- We’ll give you specific reasons why your man withdraws from loving you and warning signs and signals of his growing disinterest.
- You’ll learn how to cast your Feminine Light over a man and make him feel blessed to have your luminous glow in his life.
- You’ll learn meditations and Mantras to lift your self-esteem, soothe your anxieties about him, and get you excited about connecting with him.
- You’ll get a very PROACTIVE way of thinking about the word “love” that will help you turn feelings into dynamic behavior!
- You’ll learn all about our Signature Concept: having a little-girl heart with men! You’ll learn what it is, why it will magnetize men and exercises to help you have one with men.
- We will put you on the path to craving and seeking out only the kind of men you SHOULD be seeking out.
- We will OPEN YOUR EYES to the amount of ANGER you hold inside right now because of your relationship and how to defuse it, in order to stop subconsciously pushing him away and start to consciously bring him closer to you.
- We will help you heal your heart from past heartbreak and get you using these experiences to make you a better lover, partner, friend to your man.
- We will teach you about The Pact that every mindful and successful lover makes with herself in relating to men. It’s not what you think.
- We will guide you on HOW to journal your feelings in a way that will get you knowing yourself better, in order to STOP subconscious, self-sabotaging behavior.
- We will give you a Third Eye to Spot Toxic Men Within Minutes.
- AND many more exercises, tools, concepts and visuals to change your VIBE around him and get you seeing yourself in a clearer light, in order to ELECTRIFY his every SENSE!
Inspire His Love For You VOLUME TWO
- You’ll get insight into HOW to touch a man to create a safe place for him to express his vulnerabilities and WHEN to touch him this way.
- We will teach you HOW to take better care of your body, heart and mind and make your man find you irresistibly beautiful and confident!
- You will be loving your life enough to create strong personal boundaries and STICK to them.
- With our help, you will be easily communicating with all men in a way that will instantly bring down their guard and make them feel honored to be your shoulder to lean on.
- We will give you mindful step-by-step guide to follow when communicating with your man about the relationship, in order to inspire him to want to commit and/or be a better man for you.
- You’ll learn exactly how to express your feelings for him to him and get him WANTING to talk about the love between you both. Hint: Men are different than women. For him it’s all about his status in your eyes over the depth of feeling in your heart.
- We will transform you into Madame Receiver, knowing how to receive from a man and surrender control, in order to inspire his desire to serve and service you ALL THE TIME.
- We’ll give you a powerful tool which will make him ENJOY your texts, calls, emails, instead of wince at the sight of them.
- You’ll become more sexual overnight– desiring sex more often and awakening irrepressible and wild attraction in men everywhere.
- We will have you feeling sexually confident with men, like a vixen, a bedroom diva, a sensual playmate who is soft, sweet and knows how give sexual pleasure and how to deepen emotional intimacy through physical intimacy.
- You’ll learn our If You Only Knew You Sexy Man, You exercise will have men drooling on their ties and they won’t know WHY they are sooo attracted to you.
- We will help you feel safe, relaxed and confident enough to marinate in male attention and have him deeply desiring more of your sassy banter and your cat-that-ate-the-canary smiles.
- We will get you AUTHENTICALLY, EFFORTLESSLY smiling and giggling with your man today and in a way that will spark his own humor and desire to entertain you and make you laugh.
- You’ll learn how to exude a certain vivacious energy that grabs male attention from the moment you walk in a room.
- You’ll learn the number one thing most men look for when deciding to commit to a woman forever and how to master having that quality. Hint: It has NOTHING to do with your looks, your ability to perform in the bedroom or your cooking skills.
- We will help you be an oyster shucker and get your man talking often and at length about his vulnerable feelings within and outside the relationship.
- We’ll help turn your body language and body posture into that of a goddess who can draw out the tenderness and affection of ANY MAN, and make him want to honor you as his Love Empress forever. And this has everything to do with feeling safe and free in your personal space when around him.
- You’ll learn HOW to risk vulnerability with a man and let him see your soft, delicate, female tenderness that’s currently buried under heaps of confusion and heartache.
- You’ll learn WHY you must show him your underbelly vulnerability and see HOW it can change everything about his gentlemanly behavior INSTANTLY.
- We will teach you how to handle your anxiety as you get close to him and help you to DRAW HIM TO YOU faster and more intensely than he ever thought possible with a woman.
- You’ll get TONS more to help you to change everything around for yourself and get you triggering extreme feelings of lust and love in his heart for you, today!
- Inspire passion in his heart
- Have a more satisfying relationship, where he “shows up” fully.
- Feel like a new woman inside.
You’ll Also Get… A Meditation MP3
An audio recording of all our Meditative Exercises found in the manuals.
Plus, ones not in the manuals.
That’s almost an hour-long MP3 of our voices taking you through our techniques.
You can practice them in your car or while your soak in a bubble bath.
They are meditations to build your self-belief, soothe your fear centers and your anxiety, help you compel men to want to trust you and love you, and help you build a long-term romance with your man.
“And Guess What Else You’ll Receive? How Would You Like FREE VIP ACCESS To Ask Us Anything You Want?”
We are currently offering ongoing, 24-hour e-mail support, and it’s INCLUDED if you order Inspire His Love For You today.
That means that one of us will PERSONALLY:
- DISSECT, DIAGNOSE and explain EXACTLY where the problems are in your relationship, and what you can do to solve them.
- GUIDE you through the program and help you understand how to it all works to help you.
- Translate “MAN SPEAK” so that you can understand what he’s really saying.
- Help you PUT TOGETHER a PLAN to GET HIM to fall in love.
- Reveal exercises and tools we ONLY use with private clients.
- And much, MUCH MORE…
Not only that, WE WILL PERSONALLY RESPOND TO YOU WITHIN 48 HOURS OF RECEIVING YOUR E-MAIL!
But act now, because our careers as relationship and dating coaches are really taking off and we aren’t available to accept many more clients.
“Inspire His Love For You Offers You A 60-Day Full Money Back Guarantee!”
“We’ll Show You How To Make Him Lust After You, Listen To Your Needs & Care About Your Feelings!”
This program is so powerful. It will make shifts happen in your brain and give you the confidence you’ll need to upsurge his attraction for you and deepen his love.
The program isn’t about feeding you pop psychology theories. It’s not about showing you how to be someone you aren’t to fool him or hook him with intermittent rewards.
It’s about giving you the tools, exercises and scripts you need to help you get out of your own way.
When he starts to feel a NEW ENERGY pouring off you, his primal urge to both protect you and ravish you at the same time will resurface. This is what we call your “cherish quotient”. If you want a man to love you and romance you, you have to have a high cherish quotient!
Love is raw and primal for a man. He can’t convince himself he loves you or talk with you about commitment like it’s a business deal. He has to have passion and unbridled attraction for you or he’s not invested.
“Inspire His Love For You Works. It’s NOT Like That Fluff Out There!”
Inspire His Love For You isn’t like all those other books and coaching programs out there which capitalize off your fears and insecurities by selling your more fear and encouraging more insecurities.
So much love advice out there gives you a list of laws you MUST follow with men and paints some cookie-cutter image you HAVE TO BECOME in order to have him love you.
We work with your personality and give you tools to help you be the best YOU with a man.
We want your inner goddess to awaken so you can LIVE the part and inspire his deep feelings, not ACT the part and make him think you’re too insecure to be yourself around him.
Our results can be Drastic, Lasting, and Immediate!
Do it for yourself. Do it for him.
He wants the kind of loving, honest, sexy, and deeply-connected relationship you want, as badly as you want it!
All Our Inspiration,
- Inspire passion in his heart
- Have a more satisfying relationship, where he “shows up” fully.
- Feel like a new woman inside.
Inspire His Love For You makes no warranties of any kind (either expressed or implied) concerning the materials on the site. Further, it does not warrant that transmission of the materials will not be interrupted nor does it warrant that the materials will contain no errors nor that they will be accurate. All products from www.inspirehisloveforyou.com are provided “as-is” without any warranties of any kind whatsoever (either expressed or implied) and you alone assume any and all risk associated with use of these products. By purchase and/or use of this product you waive any claim whatsoever against and hold harmless www.inspirehisloveforyou.com and any of its officers, staff, advisors, representatives, or designees that may arise from such use. Our products are not substitutes for professional help and we recommend women who feel unsafe in their relationships with men or feel that they are a harm to themselves or others should seek professional help immediately. Bless you.
Inspire His Love
Are you trying to hard to make a man love you? You CANNOT make anyone love you, but you can INSPIRE him.
You can’t earn the love of a man by “doing” anything for him (cleaning, cooking, being his therapist, etc.) or by giving him anything (money, trinkets, etc.). You can’t ‘kill him with kindness’. You also can’t inspire his love with manipulative games. What you can do is use your EMOTIONAL WORLD and a high level of MINDFULNESS to bring him closer!
In Inspire His Love For You, we will teach you how to bend instead of break. How to soften instead of harden when you are scared and feeling vulnerable. This program is all about breaking down your walls and doing the opposite of what feels safe in order to have what feels good– a great man and a great relationship!
Kristina and coauthor Sarah Jeanette have finally compiled all their dating discoveries and relationship realizations and have created a 2-Volume E-Handbook for women– a Man Bible!
It’s over 200 pages long and teaches women everything they’ll need to know to capture the heart of that special man… at any stage of your relationship!
We’ll teach you what DOES work to inspire a man’s love. We will show you how to behave as the Love Guide in your relationship and lead your man to his own deep, loving feelings for you!
Check out our website to learn more about these amazing handbooks and to sign up for Kristina and Sarah’s FREE Inspire His Love For You Newsletter. There are tons of insight and exercises in those newsletters you currently can’t find anywhere else!
Dating Advice For Women: What Do Men Look For In A Wife?
Asking the question, what do men look for in a wife is like asking what do people look for in a family pet. Men have different tastes and different ideas of what defines a partnership. Just like how some families prefer a low-maintenance goldfish over a high-maintenance Daschund —one man’s dream gal could be another man’s nightmare date.
What Do Men Look For In A Wife? Calm.
Regardless of the various tastes in women out there, the two things I do think most men look for in a wife are consistency and serenity. Most men tire quickly of women who are moody and overemotional. Think about your own perferences in relationships? Don’t you enjoy the company of friends who put you at ease and are easy to be with?
So what stops a woman from exhibiting consistently serene emotions and a calm vibe?… Answer– Investing too much time and energy in things you can’t control and things that are negative.
Pacify Your Anxiety, Embrace Goddess Energy & Surrender
You can’t control a man’s behavior and his feelings. You can’t control the fact that you don’t know what he’s really thinking. You can ask him but at a certain point you have to stop prying/assuming and surrender control over managing him and the relationship.
You CAN control your behavior and you can share your feelings and needs. You can communicate honestly and directly with a man and you can make the decision not to pursue a relationship that doesn’t work for you.
Take A Moment NOW To Surrender…
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. When you release your breath, allow your need to control to leave your body with the air. Repeat to yourself that you don’t have power over any one man’s will and feelings and that you have to respect the wishes and needs of every man.
Tell yourself over and over that what a man looks for in a wife is less important that the question, what do I look for in a husband? Remind yourself that you have the power to choose, instead of thinking that a certain man is your only option.
Make a promise to yourself that you will prioritize SELF-LOVE– that you will worry less about a man’s reasons and more about your choices. Tell yourself that you will express your feelings to men instead of waste time and energy asking friends what they think men are thinking. Tell yourself that you will make the decision to believe what men tell you and not have blind faith that they love you when they say they aren’t interested.
Dating Advice For Women: Don’t Listen To Pheromones!
What do men look for in a wife? Someone who knows her personal boundaries and treats men how she wants to treat them instead of how she thinks she has to treat them to keep their interest.
Don’t get caught up in forcing love with some guy you’d rate a 10. A guy is a 10 when he treats you like a 12!
When you aren’t crazy about a guy, it’s easy to be yourself and demand that he honor your inner goddess. That confidence should exist no matter who the guy is and what he looks like. Even if he seems like the man who was put on Earth just for you by God, don’t start wearing the “soulmate crown” before he bestows it on you.
Make a promise to date a few guys at once and to treat the hotties and the “meh”s the same. Focus on believing in your desirability and not on proving yourself to any man. Have faith that you are enough without having to do anything to make a man compelled to want you.
If you feel stressed out because of a man and are wondering to yourself– what do men look for in a wife– check out my eBook Red Rose Woman to help liberate you from your worries! In the book, I will share my 27 Enchantress Secrets with you and help you embrace your inner goddess! The book’s dating advice for women is all about empowerment and self-love. It’s all about acting like the woman in the relationship and allowing men to woo and pursue you. It’s also about knowing when to say; “This men is dwindling my Fire and I deserve more!”
Goddess Love Help: He Wants Space? Now What?
He Wants Space & You Want Him! Time To Breathe & Tell Him How You Feel Before He Takes His Time Away!
If a man has recently told you that he wants space from you and the relationship, I know how you feel. I’ve been in a few dating relationships with men who have taken space. Sometimes it seems like a man is 100% devoted to dating you and then, all of a sudden, out of the blue (without any real relationship problems), he wants space. I was heartbroken and shocked each time this happened to me.
Now it’s time for you to follow my love help advice and soothe your heartache and worries. It’s time for you to reclaim your life and find your grounding so that you don’t reach out to him and you don’t fall into a well of darkness and low self-esteem like I did countless times before in my past.
What To Tell Him When He Wants Space
When he wants space, you have to give him space. You have to respect his wishes and his needs. It doesn’t mean you have to like that he wants space.
So, how do you respect his desire for distance while still being honest about your feelings? It’s simple. You tell him how you feel.
Do you feel worried that he’ll never come back? Tell him. Do you feel angry that he “slapped” you with this from what seems like left field? Tell him. Do you doubt whether you want to stay with him if he does come back? Tell him. Are you worried that you did something wrong that caused him to claim he wants space? Tell him.
Tell him everything you feel—all of it is safe to say; he won’t run further away. The key is in the DELIVERY. It’s all about the VIBE you have when you speak with him and in the SPECIFIC WORDS you choose when speaking to him.
My Love Help To You: Focus On Your Vibe
When you talk to him after he wants space, you have to have grounded energy. You have to resist the urge to pull him toward you. Practice planting your feet in the ground and imagining that there are roots coming out of the earth, climbing up your legs.
Imagine that these roots are filled with loving, soothing, calming and comforting “soul food” that nurture you as if you are part of the plant. So every time you feel the inclination to beg him, plead to him, cry to him, or even to shut down and wall off—I want you to use this dating advice for women VISUAL to help you stay openhearted and still in one place. Make it so that he can come and go and you aren’t going to interfere by chasing him or pushing him away.
It’s like raising a child. When you sit back and let the child come to you and tell the child that you are there for him when and if he needs you, he will come closer and closer. When you are an overbearing caretaker (or a neglecting one), the child develops an insecure attachment with you. He also can feel unsafe with you—that you are a burden to him emotionally because you are so overbearing.
Be the kind of mother who is available and “at peace” in her heart when you are talking with your man. Feel secure in your attachment to the earth so that you don’t fall victim to panicking about losing him.
The Specific Words You Use When Talking To Him
When you speak with him you have to not only stay grounded and unwavering in your ability to let him come and go without your interference, you also have to use words that he can hear—words that are effective at communicating your TRUTH.
Stick to talking about your feelings. You can talk about your feelings for him and your feelings surrounding the fact that he wants space. You should avoid blame and any words that negate his need for space.
Do say things like:
I love you and I’m sorry if I hurt you.
I appreciate our relationship and I do care about your feelings.
I will miss you during this time but I want to respect your wishes.
Right now I am angry, confused, sad, pissed, going crazy inside, etc.
I don’t know if I can wait for you but I think I’ll try.
I am scared that you are going to leave for good but I will be okay no matter what.
Don’t say things like:
You can’t do this to me!
Fine! Well then, I don’t want to be with you anymore! (when you do)
You are an a**hole, a commitment phobic jerk, an emotionally unavailable piece of ****, etc.
I won’t be okay if you leave me.
Once He’s Taken Space, You Have To Back Off
When he wants space, it’s time for you to refocus your energy on the parts of your life that have been neglected because of this dating relationship. What are you passions outside of him? Who are your friends and family members whom you haven’t seen in a while?
Dust off all the part of you that have been set aside because of the relationship.
Take Gentle Care Of Number #1– YOU
Do the very best to take care of yourself at this time. Take one day at a time and be very tender, loving, easy and forgiving with yourself.
Try to see his space as a time to self-reflect. What are the issues that you bring to a relationship that need some altering:
Are you too needy?
Do you commit yourself to guys too soon?
Do you pick the wrong guys?
Are you susceptible to being treated like a doormat?
Do you struggle with sticking up for yourself with men?
Do you have issues with knowing your personal boundaries?
Are you unable to be receptive and available when a man is emotionally available?
Are you brimming with uncontained, hostile emotion that is scary for a man?
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Like I said—be gentle with yourself when he wants space. However, take the focus off wondering and worrying about him and about how he reacted to you and how he might need something else than what you offer, and instead ask yourself if you are happy with the way you’ve acted in the relationship.
So when asking yourself if you are too needy or too nice, don’t think about it from his point of view and what you think are his preferences. Think about it from your perspective. Think about whether you would date you.
Don’t Allow Yourself To Be A Victim When He Wants Space
If you feel like his need for space is triggering some abandonment issues inside you, it’s time to face those issues. Telling yourself things like; “I can’t live without him” and “I feel like I’m worthless now that he’s left” are somewhat normal feelings but too much of that thinking is very unhealthy!
Sometimes when he wants space, we start to romanticize the relationship and our feelings for him grow and grow the more he hurts us and ignores us. Be sure not to start marinating in the pain of his unavailability. Make sure not to be giving him more love and attention (even if it’s just in your mind) when he is distant than when he is available.
Some women have issues with this. They actually only get really “hooked” on the guy when he is pulling back. If you notice that you are giving far more attention to a man when he is drifting away from you than when he is available and eager to show you love and affection, you have to face the fact that you may have issues with intimacy.
Check out my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You to read about my Enchantress Secrets. These secrets are like “goddess love help” rules to follow with men that will not only keep you feeling empowered, grounded and armed with the right words to affect him, they will also get you the kind of guy who deserves you, faces the music with solid communication and doesn’t just say he wants space when it’s probably not warranted.
Empowered Dating Tips For Women
When I was single and “out there,” I knew NOTHING about empowered dating advice for women.
I was weak in my heart and outwardly mean toward men—I thought that good dating tips for women were to be a bitchy diva or act uninterested, even if you were terrified inside that one would walk all over you.
Of course, most of them ended up doing just that– realizing that my diva attitude was just a front, a “beware of dog sign” that hung on the gates of a pet-free home!
The truth was that I was totally alone in a crazy, scary world. I felt like I didn’t have a partner to help me through my problems and listen to my concerns and fears. It didn’t help that I was also recently divorced– coming out of a marriage is harder than losing a boyfriend who never lived life “with” you.
I wanted nothing more than to just find a mate and feel cozy, safe and warm in a loving relationship filled with laughter, smiles and supportive tears. That deep desire, mixed with all that loneliness and fear, stopped me from allowing a man inside. It didn’t stop me from dating and getting out there, looking, looking, searching, scouring… but it did stop me from feeling open for love.
Does this sound familiar? Are you putting yourself out there by getting online, going to bars, going anywhere where there are men, while also feeling like your fears and your deep need for a partner are making you brittle and walled off to these men that you hunt down? If so, let’s talk about Empowered Dating tips for women!
Empowered Dating Tips For Women #1: Drop The Swag Seeking
So you want to find this yummy man to make a cozy nest with—well, let’s talk about how to get there. Firstly, what are you looking for in a man? Are you seeking out a man who WANTS to nest? Are you seeking out a man who is emotionally, spiritual and even somewhat financially CAPABLE of nesting?
If you want a cozy family life, ditch the swag. I can’t tell you how many women come to me, asking, “Where are all these emotionally available men you talk about?” I always say the same thing. They are everywhere, you’ve just been burning all your energy on swagger guys who you knew months, even years ago, weren’t good for you!!
Don’t waste energy, time, heartache on limited men and then feel down on yourself—Why am I alone? Why don’t I have a man who loves me?
Emotionally available and commitment-friendly men are all around you and women are getting married to them everyday! Yes, the divorce rate is nearly 50% for women under 35; however, if you look at that from a positive angle, it means that there are millions of men who are getting married and staying married.
Most women will change their entire love lives by making one shift; when you stop trying to change the guys that don’t naturally fit the nesting mold, everything else falls into place. When you stop trying to convert men—arguing with them, staying silent hoping they will change, making plans for a life with a guy who isn’t showing you that he’s ready; looking for looks and status over security and loyalty—that’s when you make yourself available for the good guys.
Next time you meet a guy who seems like he’s not ready to pair up with a woman—walk away. Just start walking away at the first sign. Date one, date two, five, seven…
When he says, “I don’t know what I want or when I’ll want it,” go– without fear, without resentment, without judgment, just “Goodbye” with a polite smile.
No talking with friends about it, no going online to find solutions to fixing him, etc. I call it Unplugging. Just unplug from him—physically not seeing him, talking to him, talking about him, getting angry, hurt, etc. Just dropping him and all the drama, emotion surrounding him and saying, “Next!” Just kill him off in your head.
***If you’ve been with him for more than 6 months, it’s going to be harder. It’s going to be a challenge to walk and I understand that. Don’t think that when I tell you to unplug, that I think changing men is as easy as changing underwear. I just want women to not get their hearts involved with a limited man when they know the guy is limited. If you’re already in love, take the unplugging slowly—more like a gentle untangling—but don’t let it happen to you again!
Empowered Dating Tip #2: ‘Fondue’ Yourself!
Remember when I said that I was walled off to men when I was dating? It’s important that you don’t make men think that you are unapproachable or stony.
If you want to make a cozy, loving, silly, fun and inspiring nest with a man, you have to show him from the jump that you are open to that. How is he to assume that your emotional walls are going to crumble when you get to know him better? He’s not. He’s going to think that you are just a cold, walled-off person.
The only man who will take stony on is a limited man. An emotionally available man won’t go for the walled-up thing—he’s looking for a warm, sweet, loving, tender, grounded woman who will be his yummy nesting partner!
So how do you stop feeling so brittle and walled off? You have to create a life that feels good and yummy and nest-like without a man. That way, you will feel good about yourself and the spiritual, softer side of your life no matter what blows through the door. You won’t have so much on the line and therefore you will have more boundaries and will be willing to open up a little bit.
Lots of times when we get brittle or cold, it’s because we are sooo sensitive and vulnerable right under the surface and we try to guard and protect ourselves from more pain and hurt.
When you are loving the tender side of life with good, friends; a happy, tidy house with flowers in every room and clean, healthy food on the table; a job that doesn’t kill your spirit; time for silence via meditation or just walks in nature; a hobby that makes you smile; and a self-image that makes you feel warm and toasty in your body; a desire for intimacy with a man, not some status symbol partner—that’s when you will melt around men.
That’s when you will enjoy them, like they are frosting on your fabulous life-cake; instead of resent them for having so much power over you. That’s when you “fondue” yourself—that’s what I call it when you just relax and feel inviting, soft, velvety and sexy around a man.
Empowered Dating Tip #3: Find Your Inner LOVE For Men
Yes, some men are assholes (Assclowns as the wonderful Natalie Lue of BaggageReclaim.com puts it); however, some men are amazing. Some are nice and sweet and gentlemanly.
Men are just as scared of women as women are of men. They don’t understand us, either. They don’t know why we get angry, sad, needy, fickle… how we can cry at the drop of a hat. They say that they hate our emotions, but they don’t. They LOVE our emotions. They are just afraid of them. They are afraid of hurting us and making us emotional. They are afraid that they won’t know what to say when we cry and try to lean on their shoulder. And many of them have bad experiences with the emotions of women.
Understand their fear. Don’t get mad at them for it. Don’t buy into a man’s grumpy, grouchy words about women and our “mystery based on irrationality.” Don’t let their fear shut you down or make you hide your feelings or think that you have to come across as some emotionless “equal” to them.
In fact, let it do the opposite. Be the woman who “owns” all her feelings and shows men how to get in touch with their own sensitivity and vulnerability. Show men that feminine energy is equal to masculine energy, but the power it holds is different. Show men that femininity is safe and florid and hassle-free.
Empowered Dating Tip #4: Be Transparent!
When I tell you to be yourself with a man, I don’t mean for you to be a bitch or a loud-mouthed tough cookie who is going to “say it like it is and f**k what others say!” That’s not you—that’s fear trying to disguise itself as sass.
What I mean is to always let your inner world match your outer world in a mindful and feminine way: be transparent! Don’t hide your thoughts and feelings. Speak up and speak clearly. If you are sad, angry, and anxious—share those feelings.
Don’t do it in a masculine way—by that I mean don’t try to solve your feelings or analyze them. Just share them.
When you can let your inner world flow out like beautiful, glowing, molten lava, you have a hypnotic effect on a man. He thinks, “Who is this woman who is so open and in touch with her soft side and her dark side. She is a mystery, an enigma, a beautiful symbol of life being lived at it’s fullest.”
When you share without getting dramatic and overemotional to the point of not being about to control what you say and how it’s said, he can come closer and closer because you aren’t the scary emotional women of his past!
Hold tight for more Empowered Dating tips. Until then, remember to look for available men simply by ignoring the unavailable ones; make a nest for yourself without him and you will feel more comfortable and feminine around men; find a way to love men and not let them ruffle your feathers and most importantly, be transparent (your insides and outsides are the same.)
My eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You is a dating tips for women guidebook that’s all about finding your Female Fire and making that nest for yourself without a man. It’s also enchantress LOVE HELP, showing you how to act with men so that you immediately pull the good men toward you and “fall away” from the emotionally unavailable men!
How To Prevent Him From Losing Interest
Was he “all about you” in the beginning of the relationship and now acts like you’re the thing that ate his life? Has he stopped calling? Does he seems irritated when he does spend time when you?
If you are going through a role-reversal, where you have become the pursuer and the one who fights for the relationship, I know how hard that can be and I’m so sorry!
I dated a couple of guys that came onto me like gangbusters in the early stages of knowing me. They chased me, wooed me and practically begged me to give them the exclusivity and commitment. However, things changed once I let my guard down and fell in love with these men.
Soon I was treated like a pariah. They would take hours to return my calls and I always felt like they took me out on a date (or came over for a booty call) when there wasn’t anything else to do. That’s how I felt—like being with me with something to do to blow the time.
Instead of leaving these guys and getting back out there on the dating scene, I stuck around. I tried to work hard to impress these guys and show them that I was worth their hearts.
Read More Relationship Advice From Connect With His Heart: How To Be Confident With Guys!
Maybe you can relate to my history with these men? Do you feel like you have a pattern of turning guys off of you? If so, first let me say that it’s probably as much the type of guy you pick, as it is your behavior in a relationship. In fact, it may be just the guys you pick. However, to help you feel better about getting close to a new guy, here are some tips to prevent him from losing interesting in you:
Don’t Push Him Away Or Pull Him Closer
When you getting to know a guy, it’s best to let him come toward you. Think of him as the one who “moves.” He may move toward you or away from you at times, and I’m asking that you stay still. I call it “sitting on your hands.” When you can be still and remain open-hearted with welcoming energy, you appear confident.
As you get closer to a man, there are going to be times where he will pull back for a bit. Maybe he needs to recoup or make decisions about the relationship. This is natural. It’s important that you don’t punish him for this behavior. Instead of pulling back too, just remain on your hands. When he comes back to you, don’t make him pay for taking space. Be honest about how it made you feel, but stay grounded and let him come toward you again.
Just like it’s important not to push a man away as you get close to him, it’s important not to pull him toward you either. Don’t chase men and don’t try to transform yourself into the type of woman he wants you to be. If you feel the urge to impress him, please him, cater to him, stop yourself and breath. Don’t let you fear of being rejected by him take away your power. Stay sitting on your hands.
Read More Relationship Advice From Connect With His Heart: What Exactly Are Personal Boundaries In A Relationship?
Prevent Him From Losing Interest By Owning Your Emotions
Too many women think that that owning their emotions means shoving them down and not letting a man see the anger, sadness and fear. They try to be perfectly happy and practical girlfriends. So many women buy that lie that love gurus are telling women to follow that preaches that men like rational, practical women who think and act like men.
Men don’t want women who happen to have vaginas. They want that feminine energy to balance their masculine energy. Feminine energy isn’t about pretending to be practical and emotionless. It’s about expressing emotion.
When you “own” your emotions, you express them in a healthy way. Healthy emotional expression in a relationship is all about being honest and open without being overbearing and overwhelming.
When you can admit that you are sad, angry, worried, etc. with the same openness and confidence as you would have when expressing your happiness, you own your feelings. Men are attracted to this quality in a mate. It makes you interesting, fascinating and exciting to be with. It also makes you SAFE to be with, because you are an open book and that creates emotional security for a man.
Step Into Your Sensuality
It’s hard to feel sexy when you don’t believe you are; however, any woman, regardless of her self-image, can feel sensual. Sensuality is all about living in your senses and feeling alive in your body.
Read More Relationship Advice From Connect With His Heart: Are You A Pleaser To Men?
Men respond to sensuality because it makes them feel their own aliveness. This equals hot! for a guy. Ever hear about men leaving their sweet, polite wives because they’ve lost attraction? A lot of the time, this is related to him not feeling his own aliveness through the relationship.
A man will quickly slip away from a woman who is a walking head. You have to be alive in your body: exercise and indulge your senses with good music, healthy food and soft touches. Take long, hot baths or pay for a massage now and then. Find a way to melt stress and feel less tense in your body through meditation and a manageable workload. This will help him feel “soft and melty” when he’s with you and will prevent him from losing interest in you. He will never put you in the “friend zone” if you can “tenderize” him this way.
For tips on how to enchant men with confidence, calm and sensuality, check out my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. In its pages, I offer 27 enchantress secrets to magnetizing men and empowering your Female Fire for life in the process!
Slept With Him Too Soon? How To Make Him Fall In Love Anyway
If you want to make him fall in love, it’s best not to have slept with him too soon. It’s hard for a man to change his mind about your relationship if sex happens early on. If you’ve already rassled together, it’s best to be upfront and courageous about expressing your true needs. Read on…
Let me first say that I have no negative opinion whatsoever about women who sleep around. I make no judgments; I sometimes even WISH I could be more like a man and separate hot sex from emotional attachment. That would have made my single years a hell of a lot more fun. I do, however, want to make sure that women know what they REALLY want out from a man when they decide to jump under the sheets with him.
Yes, Men Can Fall In Love Even If You Slept Together Too Soon
Look, there are plenty of men who have no problem falling for a woman who gives it up right away. When you and a man have that instant “thunderbolt”, as the French call it, and the connection occurs right of the bat, he may be one of those guys who give two crappolas if you sleep together in the first days of knowing one another.
The problem is not that his opinion of you will change (which it could) if you sleep with him too soon, the problem is that YOUR needs could change. When you sleep with a man from the jump, please, please, please don’t have any expectations about that relationship. Don’t even assume that he will call you AND if he does call, please don’t assume that it’s for anything more than more hot sex. I’m not saying it won’t be, I’m just saying don’t expect anything.
Read More Love Advice From This Relationship Advice Blog: How To Be Confident With Men & Still Be Soft
What Do I Do Once I’ve Already Slept With Him Too Soon?
Okay, so you’re reading this and going, “Well, this isn’t helping me, Kristina, because I already gave the booty up and now I’m waiting by the phone with serious regret and desperation.”
The best advice I can give you is to be honest and direct and to immediately put up your personal boundaries.
I know that it may seem hard to tell a guy “no” after you’ve already told him “Yes. Yes YES. YES!!!!!”, but just because it seems strange to put up your boundaries now with him, it’s still the right choice. It’s also the most effective choice if you want to know if he has ANY intention of seriously dating you. Because, like I said, if you just stay mum and hope that he will “see the light”, you are going to be disappointed. It’s best you find out NOW if he REALLY likes you or if he just took that free milk!
WAIT FOR HIM TO CALL and tell him flat-out how you feel and what he’s to expect from you:
“I feel really uneasy. I like you and think you’re a great guy and after we slept together I realized that I don’t want to just have a sexual relationship with someone I like. I don’t want to end up hurt. I don’t know your intentions, but I just want to be honest and tell you this.”
And then shut up and hear him out. If he actually likes you (or is capable of having a real relationship with a woman who is emotionally available) then he will be relieved and tell you that he doesn’t intend to just use you for sex. He will express his desire to know you on a more serious level.
If you never hear from him again, just be happy that you didn’t waste your time.
And whatever you do, don’t keep repeating the same pattern. You aren’t going to find your husband and make him fall in love by ripping off your panties the first chance you get. Even if he still likes you after first -night sex, it will be a rare anomaly and will have had nothing to do with the fact that you gave it up right away. So why not wait a few dates (five is a good date number)!
Read More Love Advice On This Dating Advice Blog: Do You Have Too Much Masculine Energy With Men?
(If you have a hard time slowing things down with men and always seem to get drunk and/or give it up too fast on a date, it could be that you have a lot of anxiety about intimacy and getting close to someone. When we fear judgment and get anxious about the idea of really caring about someone who could deeply hurt our hearts, we sabotage things just to alleviate the anxiety. If you do this, please see a therapist. Intimacy issues are very curable and you don’t have to feel so afraid of closeness! I should know, I’ve been there.)
Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You is my empowering man-magnet ebook for women who want to enchant men effortlessly. It’s all about finding your Female Fire and being brave and amazing around men… while still being vulnerable, soft, tender and refreshingly honest. The book’s 27 enchantress secrets will show you how to communicate with men, be more sensual around men and how to know when to be giving with men and when to stop acting like a doormat!