Do you feel like everything you do and say to bring him closer is pushing him further away? Does he seem to almost have apathy toward you, rolling his eyes or shutting down and getting rude and grouchy when you try to talk about the relationship? Do you feel like his behavior is making you more emotionally needy and you just wish he’d warm up to you again so you can stop feeling insecure?
If you answered, “yes” to these questions, it’s time to change your vibe.
First, let me say that it’s not your fault. Stop letting his cold shoulder and insensitive words get you feeling like a freak or a weak woman. Everyone gets insecure at times and there’s probably a good chance that his behavior has contributed to your insecurities. It’s really hard even for me to stop myself from falling down into a dark, emotionally needy place when my man pulls back.
The key for me and for YOU is to understand that your insecurities in your relationship don’t affect your worth as a woman. Knowing (and LIVING) this is huge and will help you slip out of the dark, spiraling, anxious place and feel confident and free—no matter what he is doing.
Separate Your Sense Of Self From Your Relationship’s Issues
It’s human nature to lean on your partner or other loved ones for a sense of self. As babies, it’s key to healthy development that our parents instill in us a strong, independent, loving and kind sense of self– we are born extremely impressionable and for the most part, we stay that way.
As women, we are extra sensitive to our environments and have a hard time not letting our environments and the people around us mold our sense of self. Women are very adaptable, which is a beautiful quality that makes us able to gets through all sorts of situations; however, it can make us feel insecure quickly when things don’t go right in our relationships.
When YOU decide not to let him puppet your sense of self, everything becomes easier in your relationship. You not only are able to break free of emotionally neediness, you also seek out men who are more confident and understanding our your needs and insecurities.
How To Change Your Vibe From Emotionally Needy To Goddess!
When you change your vibe and stop being emotionally needy, you are filled with FEMALE POWER. You take the power back in your relationship and you instantly feel grounded, like a tree rooted to the earth, even in moments where your man is acting strange and distant.
Tree Energy Exercise:
One way to ground yourself is to use a visual—the tree I mentioned above is a good one. Imagine there are roots coming straight up out of Mother Earth’s belly, shooting into the bottom of your feet. Imagine that inside the roots thrives a powerful energy force that makes you feel comforted, nurtured and emotionally “fed”. Close your eyes now and imagine the roots tangling up inside your body—wrapping around organs, blood vessels, nerves and muscles. Imagine that your body is lite up with this amazing energy. Feel yourself glowing with sparkly green, pink, yellow particles of light that are radiating off the roots.
How To Act Like His Goddess
Once you start taking emotional nourishment from the earth and cut the “umbilical cord” that you have attached into your man’s heart, you will feel stronger. This umbilical cord is not a heart connection, but it’s a drainage system that has depleted him of life force. Right now he can’t handle your need for connection and that has made you latch onto him in this way.
It’s time to sever this cord by not “pulling at him” when he is already acting grumpy. Here’s what I want you to do next time you are with him and feeling like you want to talk about his behavior and his feelings about you:
Take a deep breath and take the focus off him. Do the tree-energy exercise and when you feel grounded, look at him while continuing to feel rooted in place and say, “I feel sad. I feel disconnected from you and I don’t want to feel this way in a relationship. What do you think I should do?”
Then I want you to listen to what he has to say. If he comforts you, let him. If he gets upset, just breathe and stay grounded. Say, “I don’t want to upset you but this is how I feel and it’s important to me that I voice my feelings.” Then I want you to get up and go do something that makes you happy.
Changing Your Vibe Is About Taking Your Focus Off Him And Placing It Onto Your Feelings!
When you speak up about your feelings and take control of your happiness, you change your vibe. He’s expecting you to focus on him because that’s what you’ve been doing—analyzing what he feels and what he’s thinking. When you starts to see that you have taken the attention off of trying to change him and put it back on yourself, then he will come closer. Until then, he’ll feel smothered and even controlled.
Being a goddess is about selfishness. When I use that word, I simply mean that you detach from his life force and you prioritize your emotional needs. You stop worrying about what he thinks, feels and needs and you start taking care of YOU. It doesn’t matter what he feels or what he is thinking, if what YOU feel is YUCKY. If you feel yucky, it’s about finding a way out of that place that doesn’t include trying to change him. You can share your feelings, ask for change and express your needs, but if he isn’t willing to hear you or offer you reassurance of his love, you have to ground yourself and take nourishment from another source– like the earth.
A goddess is communicative, always speaking the simple truth about how she feels. She owns her feelings and can say, “I feel sad, angry and weak today” in the same unashamed tone as “I feel happy, soft inside and confident today!”
What can you do to ground yourself and cut the cord? Thoughts?