If you want to be a man magnet, you have to give him incentive to come closer. By incentive I DON’T mean you coming closer to him by doing things for him, dressing like the woman you think he wants, etc. I mean that you have to draw him in with your authenticity– almost by accident. With your vulnerability.
When you can soften your edges, you create a safe, tender, sweet and cozy place for a man to let down his guard and share his underbelly. Men have it tough in society, and they have so many emotional walls as a result of having to “man up” all the time. It’s important for a man to find that special woman who makes him feel emotionally safe to expose his vulnerability and who guides him toward an effective way for him to process his emotions.
How To Soften Your Edges & Be A Man Magnet!
Time to take your rough, severe corners and soften them. Time to feel like buttery velvet inside and out. Time to walk, talk and act like the kind of woman who’s sensual, fleshy and cozy like a microfiber bathrobe. That’s the kind of woman a man wants to rub up against—physically and emotionally.
Think of yourself as fondue. If you currently have a lot of brittle, “ice queen” energy, it’s time to take your hard chocolate bar and melt it into a sweet, soft, sassy and succulent woman!
Goddess Love Help: Owning Your Feelings
Softening is about owning your feelings and heightening your senses. Too many people think that owning feelings is about walling up and hardening your heart. This is actually DISOWNING your feelings.
Owning your feelings is about knowing yourself, feeling all your emotion, processing feelings and not letting them make choices for you. When you hide your feelings and stay unemotional, your subconscious starts wreaking havoc on your relationships. Your motives become suspicious and you don’t even see it. Suddenly, relationship problems rain down on you and you start to feel victimized!
You start care-giving and catering and pretending you’re something you aren’t and suddenly he feels controlled and managed.
How To Soften
It’s time to get out of your head and into your heart. It’s time to step into the NOW and celebrate the moment. Instead of trying to snag, trap and hook a man into a commitment, let’s work on what YOU feel inside at any given moment (breath by breath, I call it) and how your feelings surrounding your relationships with men are affecting your overall happiness.
Next time you are with a man, keep the focus off him. Forget analyzing his thoughts, his behavior, his words, etc. Forget strategies to make him happy and get him to love you. Instead, focus on what you feel while with him. Focus on how his energy, his behavior, his life-force makes you feel.
You’ll notice trends. You’ll see that a certain man actually makes you feel bad, anxious and insecure and that you’ve been masking those feelings by chasing him. You’ll see that the boring guys you aren’t attracted to are actually the ones who make you feel nice and safe and blissful.
Focusing on your feelings helps you get back in charge of your self-worth and that softens you.
When you step into your feelings (taking the time to check in with yourself) you start feeling empowered. You start realizing what makes you unhappy and happy and you start making subtle shifts to self-soothe. This grounds you. This makes you stop looking to him to “save” your yucky feelings and puts you in the driver’s seat of your heart.
When you self-soothe and listen to your soul and heart, your brittleness falls away. You start TRUSTING yourself to take care of yourself. This allows you to be vulnerable with men and be soft around them because you aren’t as sensitive to their woundings. See, we get frosty with men because we are soooo mushy inside. It’s time to be mushy on the outside and grounded on the inside.
Feeling your emotions is the first step. However, heightening your senses is important for making him attracted to you. When you enjoy the textures, sounds, visuals, tastes and smells around you, you lure a man into your world. He wants to get lost in you. He wants you to be his vacation.
Just like you go on vacation to pretty places to eat amazing food and make love in comfy hotel beds, a man wants to feel like time with you is a celebration of life. He wants to witness you enjoying what you see, hear, touch, smell and taste when out with him. It’s Oohs and Ahhs. It’s squeals and hypnotic whispers. It’s tears over a breathtaking sunset and a sexy dance when an R&B song hits the radio… He then feels alive in your presence.
Making a man feel alive inside makes you a man magnet!
Check out my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. It’s dating advice for women (or love help for those with relationship problems) about how to be a man magnet and enchant men with your soft outsides and strong, grounded insides.