Dating Advice: Difference Between Giving Off Strong Hints & Flat Out Chasing A Guy
Strong hints are flattering and inviting, but when they become too obvious, you are just chasing a guy… BIG TURN OFF!
Look, some dudes are shy. I personally believe that the best guys (meaning the ones who will be awesome committers) are usually shy about making the first moves. It takes a lot of guts to approach a woman, talk her up and ask her out. If a guy isn’t really cute and very charming, he’s going to feel afraid of taking that plunge. There’s nothing wrong with giving him a little reassurance with a smile or a sexy wink.
The problem becomes when you turn a subtle flirtation into downright desperation.
Too many times in my past, I’ve told myself a lie about a man’s confidence level in order to give myself permission to throw myself at him. Given the well-known fact that guys are dense and don’t pick up on the understated, it’s easy to assume that a guy who doesn’t make the initiative to connect with you is unsure of how to proceed and fearful of your rejection.
However, nine times out of ten, a guy can tell when he’s still in contention and when he’s struck out. You shouldn’t worry about that and if you keep an open heart and have welcoming energy, you will never be mistaken for being unapproachable and/or intimating.
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The Importance Of Having Welcoming Energy Instead Of Chasing A Guy
To be in your feminine energy is to be available—available for conversation, flirtation… any sort of advance from a man. Being in your feminine energy DOESN’T mean that you MAKE the advancement. Once you are the the aggressor, the pursuer, the conversation-leader with a man, you are leading from masculine energy.
Masculine energy won’t necessarily push a man away, heck, it can be sexy and fun, but it won’t make a man have admirable intentions. When you claw at, talk at and coax a man in a bar, he may want to take you home for some fun times, but he’s not going to see you as a woman he could love.
Men fall in love with a woman who has what I call a high “cherish quotient”. To have a cherish quotient, you have to make a man feel inspired to take care of you and protect you, while also wanting to ravish you senseless. If you can bring out the knight in shining armor in a guy (while also bringing out the horny beast in him), you will score his attention and become a real prospect for girlfriend status. You can only do this when you lead with your feminine energy and step back and allow him to be the hunter, the conqueror, the pursuer and you the appreciative dame.
If he doesn’t cherish you as a feminine beauty who needs his strong, safe embrace, he’s likely not going to invest his heart. When you sit back and let him come to you (while remaining open to receive his attention and affection), you step into your femininity and immediately carry a high value in his eyes.
Welcoming Energy Is Sexier Than Playing Hard To Get
Not only is hard-to-get a game that only has worth when you are acting uninterested, it isn’t nearly as powerful an asset in the dating world as feminine energy. When you are in your feminine energy you are easy to get but you are also easy to lose. It’s important to be easy to please (open to a date or a conversation or a kiss–if it’s comfortable for you at the time), but it’s also important to know your boundaries and be able to put your foot down at any moment when you feel disrespected. It’s important to make a man feel like one false move and you have the willpower and self-confidence to step!
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When you play hard-to-get, you inspire him to chase you until he has you, but when you have feminine energy mixed with strong personal boundaries, you never make him chase you but ALWAYS keep him on his toes. This will allow you to earn his trust (playing hard-to-get won’t because it’s a sneaky game) WHILE ALSO allowing you to keep his interest and intrigue.
Guys want a woman who keeps them in-check. When a man knows that you aren’t going to accept anything less than the best from him, he’s going to respect that and rise to the occasion to show you how manly and worthy he is of your hard-to-bullshit respect. If you are throwing yourself at him, chasing a guy around the bar, forcing him to have dialogue with you, calling him, texting him, etc. he’s not going to think that he has to be on his best behavior with you. He’ll think, “Oh, she’s the kind of gal who comes toward me when I ignore her. Okay, I’ll bask in this free attention until my Ms. Right comes around.”
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