Women love connection, and part of feeling connected to a man is knowing how much feeling he carries in his heart for you. We are thrilled to hear a man say things like “I adore you with all my heart” or “I can’t tell you how much I love you today.”
Deep, strong loving feelings in a man’s heart for us make us feel safe, comforted, and protected from the evils of society. His love is like a cushiony barrier that holds us tight and makes us brave to go out and conquer the world.
Men also have big ambitions to conquer the world, and our love helps that too, but in a different way. We love hearing about the depth and degree of love in a man’s heart for us, while he likes to hear about how his love has added to our lives in small and huge ways.
Men are all about status. It’s been scientifically proven that men choose their words and styles of communication based on establishing status. It could be status at work, with friends, in his family, or in his relationship with you.
When you can tell a man that you love him because ______ (fill in the blank with something he has done to improve your life and overall happiness), he feels like he has status in your eyes. He feels that the person he values most in his life values him over anyone else. That makes him feel powerful and beyond confident.
We talk at length about this in Inspire His Love for You:
“He needs to feel the status in the relationship and that comes from feeling that his efforts matter and that he has the ability to afford you a better life…” Inspire His Love For You, Chapter 9.
How to express love to a man:
Instead of saying you love him, say, “You’re amazing. I really appreciate you.” The depth of his love for you will be written all over his boyish grin and in his over-the-moon, glassy eyes.
If you can reach a man’s self-worth by showing him how worth loving he really is, you will be the necessary key ingredient to his manhood. That’s not something he will just throw out the door when some pretty young thing smiles in his direction.
And now that we are on the subject of pretty young things, men adore younger women because young equals “I need guidance and reassurance.” Men see that as a chance for status points.
Young women have less life experience under their belts, and if they are looking for guidance and protective love, they are more interested in older men. If a man is older, well, he’s in luck. He’s found someone he can talk with about his important life, someone he can brag to. He can help her along in her hobbies and career as a knowledgeable adviser. He can give her some cash for her rent or her car payment and then feel like a big hero.
Of course, in the long run, this gets old, and a man needs more than this sort of glorification of his self-worth to feel satisfied in love. There are other factors of compatibility in a relationship, and if he doesn’t have them with any woman, he will move on—but maybe not until he’s already hurt you with an affair.
So do what you can for your man’s position of worth in your relationship. It will keep him coming home and falling over backwards for more of your approval points. And if you are ever at a loss for what to say to show him you care, just light a flame of love in your heart, look at him with youthful admiration, and tell him he’s “the bestest.” But don’t be surprised if he corrects your schoolgirl grammar.
Like my ideas on how to express love to a man and how to tell him “I love you” in a way that gets him FEELING for you and DOING for the relationship? Sign up for my Love Advice Newsletter; it’s loaded with custom-created exercises to help women unlock a man’s heart, feel better about their power as a woman, or help to heal past traumas that are blocking an open heart!