How To Express Love To A Man: Here’s A Better Way to Tell A Man You Love Him

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There is a better way to express love to a man; tell a man you love him by triggering his self-worth!


Women love connection, and part of feeling connected to a man is knowing how much feeling he carries in his heart for you. We are thrilled to hear a man say things like “I adore you with all my heart” or “I can’t tell you how much I love you today.”


Deep, strong loving feelings in a man’s heart for us make us feel safe, comforted, and protected from the evils of society. His love is like a cushiony barrier that holds us tight and makes us brave to go out and conquer the world.


Men also have big ambitions to conquer the world, and our love helps that too, but in a different way. We love hearing about the depth and degree of love in a man’s heart for us, while he likes to hear about how his love has added to our lives in small and huge ways.


Men are all about status. It’s been scientifically proven that men choose their words and styles of communication based on establishing status. It could be status at work, with friends, in his family, or in his relationship with you.


When you can tell a man that you love him because ______ (fill in the blank with something he has done to improve your life and overall happiness), he feels like he has status in your eyes. He feels that the person he values most in his life values him over anyone else. That makes him feel powerful and beyond confident.


We talk at length about this in Inspire His Love for You:


“He needs to feel the status in the relationship and that comes from feeling that his efforts matter and that he has the ability to afford you a better life…” Inspire His Love For You, Chapter 9.


How to express love to a man:


Instead of saying you love him, say, “You’re amazing. I really appreciate you.”   The depth of his love for you will be written all over his boyish grin and in his over-the-moon, glassy eyes.


If you can reach a man’s self-worth by showing him how worth loving he really is, you will be the necessary key ingredient to his manhood. That’s not something he will just throw out the door when some pretty young thing smiles in his direction.


And now that we are on the subject of pretty young things, men adore younger women because young equals “I need guidance and reassurance.” Men see that as a chance for status points.


Young women have less life experience under their belts, and if they are looking for guidance and protective love, they are more interested in older men. If a man is older, well, he’s in luck. He’s found someone he can talk with about his important life, someone he can brag to. He can help her along in her hobbies and career as a knowledgeable adviser. He can give her some cash for her rent or her car payment and then feel like a big hero.


Of course, in the long run, this gets old, and a man needs more than this sort of glorification of his self-worth to feel satisfied in love. There are other factors of compatibility in a relationship, and if he doesn’t have them with any woman, he will move on—but maybe not until he’s already hurt you with an affair.


So do what you can for your man’s position of worth in your relationship. It will keep him coming home and falling over backwards for more of your approval points. And if you are ever at a loss for what to say to show him you care, just light a flame of love in your heart, look at him with youthful admiration, and tell him he’s “the bestest.” But don’t be surprised if he corrects your schoolgirl grammar.


Like my ideas on how to express love to a man and how to tell him “I love you” in a way that gets him FEELING for you and DOING for the relationship?  Sign up for my Love Advice Newsletter; it’s loaded with custom-created exercises to help women unlock a man’s heart, feel better about their power as a woman, or help to heal past traumas that are blocking an open heart!

Related Links

Secrets of a Modern Enchantress (This one’s written by me!)

Mesmerize Him Tonight




  1. This is an excellent post. Personally, I didn’t see anything that i disagree with. However, there is something I would like to add to bring a bigger picture to this idea.

    This behavior can be a learned behavior. If you have parents (in this case a mother) who treats her husband this way, it shows the children the right way to give an accept love. Children who come from households who have parents who do not display this behavior have a hard time understanding it when they are older.

    I came from, what is called, a broken home. My Mother spent most of my childhood in bad relationships with abusive men. Thankfully, I saw this and learned to do the opposite because of my love for my Mother. I saw her unhappy and realized women should not be treated the way she was. But not all children view life this way.

    We have to remember that our adult relationships form our childrens opinion of what is acceptable. It stays with them, and if the child comes from a home where the parents are cold and unavailable, they may believe that is the way it is supposed to be. But when they get older and realize they are not being fulfilled, they can’t figure out what is missing.

    As a man who has been married for 11 years and intimacy has allways been a problem, I am excited to read more of what you have to say.

    A few tips from a married guy for Women:
    Be vulnerable and open. If a man feels like he is welcome into your soul, he will set up camp and stay. However, do not accept anything other than love and compassion from men.

    Pay attention to his cues. Sometimes we don’t or can’t communicate with words, just like you. Ask us what’s wrong. If we aren’t ready to talk about it, be kind and don’t push. Many men don’t like to feel the pressure to communicate when we are still trying to figure it out.

    Be flirty. In the days of sexting and digital sex, the classsics still work. Wink, smile, grope, blow a kiss. A guy may think it’s weird or corny at first, but it will be on our minds all day. :-)

    As a final note, I would like to suggest to all your readers that they watch Brene Brown’s video in the link I have included. If you enjoy it, watch her follow up video about “Shame” and how we need to welcome it and understand it, not be afraid of it.

  2. Thanks Brian. “Our adult relationship form our childrens opinion of what is acceptable”… Thank you for mentioning that and everything else. Like they say, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

  3. Its fantastic as your other blog posts : D, regards for posting . “Age is a function of mind over matter if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” by Leroy Robert Satchel Paige.

  4. Reenathomas says:

    Praise the lord !! Thanq u so much mam…..Im engaged to a guy with blessings of christ Jesus…..He is one of my Precious valuable gift in my life …..Ur tipz givez me strength to hav a healthy relationship wit my chuweet hubby……May ur life fill with joy and happiness …..with love and respect ReenaThomas…….

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