Is he serious about you and looking to make you The One?
Are you desperate to know the signs of a man who is in love so that you can be rest assured that he is really there for you? Wondering if the man you are sleeping with and spending quality time with has serious plans to make you his REAL girlfriend and maybe even one day his wife?
Here’s the deal: A lot of women are in faux relationships and don’t even know it. They may KNOW it but they refuse to believe it and have succeeded in lying to themselves about the extent of his intentions. Or scarier still… they have no clue they are in a faux relationship!
If you want to know if a man has the intention of honoring your relationship long-term and taking himself completely off the market, you may be frightened to learn that he could be doing all the admirable things and showing all the signs of loving you, but may just be buying time until he meets Ms. Right.
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This is exactly why I find it such a waste of time, when wondering if he is serious about you, to look for a checklist of actions a man will do when he knows a woman is the one for him.
Look, I have met two men in my life who showed signs that even my best friend thought were symptoms of the love-bug, only to have ended up dumped both times for some other woman. One of these guys actually married one of these girls… three months after dumping me for her AND he had dated me for over a year. Yes, I have been there.
So instead of wasting your time reading articles online that suggest a man is serious about you if he introduces you to his family or says “I love you” (both those guys did both these things with me), think more about why you DON’T have an engagement ring yet and what you can be doing to get one.
Love Is A Verb: The True Love Connection
I’m a HUGE advocate of the Golden Rule and have created, based on this rule, a new definition of love. Love is NOT a feeling as much as it is a connection between two people where they give to and receive from one another loving TREATMENT that BENEFITS the receiver over the GIVER. I term it a True Love Connection.
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So, having said that, what are the ways in which your man treats you well to which you respond best? Is he compassionate, affectionate, kind, patient, adoring, silly, dripping with confidence under the sheets…? If so, how can you pump more of these behaviors into your relationship from your end. How can you be more sexual, affectionate, kind, patient, etc.? Give all your gestures from a loving place, not from a manipulative place.
Then also ask yourself, what are the things you DON’T receive from him that you would like to? More quality time, more cuddles, more pillow talk. And then I want you to communicate your needs to him without asking for anything specific. Only state what you want and don’t care for. “I would like more pillow talk. What do you think?” “I don’t care for a cold relationship where I don’t cuddle with my man. Do you feel like our cuddling is up to your standards?”
Invite him to come up with solutions without making him feel less-than-enough. That’s the secret to getting what you want.
Men Don’t Usually Know That Things Can Be Fixed. They Lack Communication Skills
Now, when you are both a more mindful partner by giving what you receive and a more direct and honest partner by asking for what you need (without really asking, of course), then you will more likely end up with a BETTER CONNECTION. You may be surprised at how he suddenly becomes more happy to be around you because of the better ways you treat him or… he may become more communicative of what he DOES need from you.
Read More Relationship Advice For Women On This Blog: How To Building Emotional Intimacy With Him
When you have an open dialogue with a man where he feels TOTALLY safe to be honest and free to reveal EVERYTHING, you will see a change in him. You won’t worry about his motives with you or his intentions. You will feel confident in his love. See, there are A LOT of men who act like they are happy but are LYING. Many a man could spend vacations with a woman, sleep with her, tell her “I love you” and STILL secretly be looking around for someone else. But when you build an emotional intimacy that is so powerful and strong that he can’t imagine not having you around to “get him” and hear him, he will FESS UP to his concerns and his needs. He will admit to what LACKS for him in the relationship and only then can things be fixed.
Is he serious about you? This depends a lot on where he thinks the relationship can go from here AND whether or not it is working for him. Men don’t always know HOW to communicate, they only know when something works or doesn’t, and if something that NATURALLY works better comes along, a lot of men leave.
Men DON’T want to leave but they don’t see how change is possible. They don’t know who to talk about their feelings or even know WHAT EXACTLY is the problem. Better communication in a safe environment where tender emotional intimacy is prolific will help him open up. It will help him see that even though some things aren’t naturally great in the relationship, they can be fixed. This will get you the proposal, the ring and the life-long devotion you desire!