3 Ways To Keep Your Man From Walking
There are ways to keep your man happy and in love and they aren’t that hard to do. It’s just that most of us are too emotionally guarded and too afraid to risk exposing vulnerability.
If you feel insecure in your relationship and believe your man is losing interest, it’s best to not ignore those feelings. You should try to face the issue and be proactive about winning his heart.
I know it’s tough to focus on how to keep a guy interested when you have a million other things to do like earn a darn living and make sure your kids are well adjusted and happy. However, in love, doing less is getting more. The less you beat around the bush and hide your feelings and the less you stress about things, the better the relationship gets. It’s important to know how to communicate effectively and how to stop obsessing over your man’s feelings for you. Obsessing over his feelings will make you hypersensitive and will eat away at your confidence.
I’ll say it right now– you will never know for sure if a man loves you. You can looks for signs and worry yourself sick over what he does when you aren’t around, but you will exhaust yourself and drain your level of happiness if you incessantly worry about how to keep a man interested.
Here are 3 ways to keep your man in love with you without obsessing and losing yourself:
1. Find A Way To Trust Him
Trust in a relationship is vital. It’s the essential organ to the organism that is a connection between a man and a woman. If you don’t have true trust in his intentions and confidence in his feelings for you, then there is nothing you can do to win a man’s heart and keep him interested. When you act from distrust, you start to appear manipulative and needy. You have a ‘vibe’ about you that reeks with disharmony. Your actions say “I love you and please stay” and your insides say, “Get away from me; I can’t trust you!”.
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I can’t tell you how many women have this disharmonious vibe with men. I had it for a long time. I was always working so hard to make my husband happy, but I never allowed myself to believe that he was a good man. I had all these reasons for why he would leave me one day, but regardless of my constant fear of his abandonment, I slaved to be perfect for him. How strange, right?… I worked like a dog to be close with a man whom I thought was only going to hurt me.
In the end, he did leave, but that had everything to do with all the secret hostile feelings we both were sweeping under the carpet. We never learned how to trust each other and communicate, so all our good deeds and sweet gestures failed to amount to a deeper connection.
Having trouble trusting your man? Feel like he often disappoints you or gives you the itching hunch that he is too emotionally unavailable to ever have the relationship you need and want from him? If so, you should leave. Honestly, what are you waiting for? To keep your man, you have to trust him and if you can’t trust him, why keep him?
If you feel that he does deserve your trust but you’re a distrusting human, start with your willingness to change. Tell yourself that you will work on trusting him and that you’re capable of trusting another person despite your history of distrust. Then, be honest with him about your issues and your progress.
2. Communicate Your Feelings
One of the surefire ways to keep your man from walking is to have a heart-to-heart with him! Tell him how you really feel inside; tell him that you feel insecure in love and that you think he is not interested anymore. Tell him that you are scared to lose him and that you want nothing more than to make your man happy.
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The key to how to communicate with a man in a relationship: Be vulnerable and calm.
You have to express your feelings to him in an honest and heartfelt way. You should let your feelings ‘bleed out’ of your heart and come out of your mouth tenderly and as simple facts– not as blaming words or words of manipulation and threat. You hold his hand, look him in his eyes and say; “I feel__.” And you tell him what you would like to receive, “I would like ____.” Stay away from the blame: ”You are always____ and I never feel _____ because you _____.”
When you pour your heart out to him with simple words that are clear and direct, he will want to wrap you in a blanket and hold you forever. Men respond well to soft, feminine women and to feminine energy. Feminine energy is the relaxed, heartfelt, warm and tender energy that balances a man’s thinking, doing, hot and rough energy.
The other way to keep your man from walking is to be CALM when you speak with him. The combination of open, soft, vulnerable AND calm all at once is really tough. Once most of us open our hearts and extend trust and vulnerability, we get over emotional. And once you get emotional with a man, it’s hard to remain calm. Tears can quickly turn to anger and hysteria.
The best way to be calm is to constantly remind yourself that you can take care of yourself in emotional moments. You can nurture yourself and soothe yourself and though you love him, you don’t need him to survive. See, men couple a womens’ emotions with women needing something from them. This is why many men feel uncomfortable when a women gets emotional. However, if you get share your feelings in a tender, loving, soft and drama-free way and then not expect anything from him, he will listen and he will offer you what he can. He will feel much more comfortable to give of himself because he won’t feel pressured.
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3. Listen To His Needs
So now you’ve got your man listening to your feelings and feeling closer to you due to your honesty and vulnerability; it’s time for him to open up and express his needs. If your man starts admitting to you what’s missing for him in the relationship or if he already has mentioned, here and there, about his issues with you, you have to stop the denial and start doing what you can to get your man to fall in love with you again.
Most men see a problem in the relationship and they hint about their needs (too afraid to hurt you with direct honesty). Many leave shortly after that. Most aren’t educated on how to communication in a relationship and they care too much about a woman’s feelings to want to wound her. But honesty will help the relationship and dancing around issues does nothing for the relationship.
So ask yourself now: What did I think he needs from me?
Chances are you already know the answer to this question and have stuffed it under the rug with all your insecurities. Does he need more sex, less nagging, less neediness, more fun times, more appreciation…?
There will be a time for you to get your needs met, but since he’s the one with the foot out-the-door, chances are, you need to take the first step and adapt to the relationship.
The key to adapting to the relationship is not losing yourself in the relationship. You can’t let his needs make you insecure and obsessed. If he has an issue with your sex life, for example, you can’t put that on yourself. You are born perfect and all of us are special. Just because he needs more or less of something to be happy in the relationship, doesn’t mean that some other guy would feel the same way. You are, however, in love with him and honoring that love means giving him what he needs.
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It’s going to be your responsibility to walk the rope– compromising for the relationship without losing yourself and your confidence in the process. It’s not hard to do but it can be initially hard on your ego.
Keep To Your Boundaries To Show Him You Have Worth!
The other thing you have to remember is that you have boundaries. You can please your man to keep your man but you can’t let your man walk all over you. You must communicate your feelings like I showed you and you must know your worth. If there is something about your man that makes you chronically question your self-worth, that’s a cue to get out of the relationship.
Too many women stay in bad, unhealthy relationships because they mistakenly feel that getting their men to love them will change their self-image. Your self-image can not be changed by a man.
A man can temporarily wear down your self-esteem but ultimately he won’t take anything from you that you had before you met him. And regaining that same man’s love will not make you feel confident again. It may make you feel better, for a while, but true confidence lies with you. The longer you stay with a bad man, the more you send yourself the message that you aren’t worth loving.
There are many ways to keep your man and there are even more ways to lose him. The important thing to remember is that you should always be yourself and speak from your heart. Who is the tender, soft, loving little girl in your heart that craves love? Let her be your spokeswoman and remind her to be calm and generous without being victimized!
Inspire His Love For You is my eprogram for women who want to keep their man’s interest. It’s all about teaching women how to be both self-centered and selfless. The key to a strong relationship is being mindful of your TRUE behavior in the relationship while not losing who you are in the process. A relationship should push you to be the best version of yourself but it should also make you feel safe and loved unconditionally. The program will help you learn how to make a man feel truly safe to let down his ‘man armor’ with you and will also show you how to pull down your emotional walls while simultaneously putting up strong and secure personal boundaries.