Article I wrote for digitalromanticinc.com:
He was once head-over-heels for you and now he’s heeled it out of there, nowhere to be found. I’ve been right where you are quite a few times and it always hurt like hell. The self-doubt, the analyzing and rehashing of each moment of every date trying to figure out what I said or did wrong to push him away. I would drive myself mad and end up feeling like a toilet, hollow and filled with gook. But I was able to turn things around when my current boyfriend pulled back and I want to share with you now what to do when men stop calling you, so that you can draw that special man back to you, fast.
• It’s Kind Of Obvious, But If You Need A Reminder: Don’t Contact Him
Most of us know not to phone, text or email when men stop calling. But the reality is, we still do it. Oh yes, we get sneaky and creative when we need to (the resourcefulness of women, I tell ya), and we “innocently” reach out when men stop calling.
Because a man is on our mind, we start to see things in our everyday environment that remind us of him, things we’re convinced he absolutely must know about. So we send cute memes that have something to do with a date we went on or we send him Groupon.com coupons for classes or events he showed interest in… You get the idea.
I don’t care how much he needs to know about something—don’t contact him. The reason has less to do with him and more to do with you. We contact a guy to get an adrenaline rush, a hit of our drug, but when he doesn’t respond with something that feels good (and let’s face it, only an “I’ve been stuck under heavy furniture and I’m so sorry I haven’t called; would you like to go out to dinner tonight?” would feel good at this point), we come down off that high with a big, resounding thud. We feel even more shame (the gook in the toilet) and we haven’t accomplished anything.
• When Men Stop Calling, Become The Queen Bee
In my Love Advice Newsletter I talk about being a queen bee with men instead of a worker bee. The queen bee is the heart of the beehive. She is the reason for everything her little workers do for the colony, and they pay close attention to her, tending to her every need. I want you to stop buzzing around like a worker bee – worrying when a man will call, scrutinizing every move you make on a date, planning dates, controlling the pace of the dating relationship, asking his friends what happened to him, etc. Instead I want you to stop doing anything for men and think of yourself as the center of their world.