Wondering what attracts a man to a woman? Men are vastly different as individuals but are very easy to understand as a collective whole.
Most straight men want to find that special woman who makes them feel like they can go out into the world and accomplish anything. The average good guy wants a woman he can proudly stand beside at a public function, a woman who understands and fulfills his sexual needs, a woman who trusts in herself and stands up for herself when necessary, and most importantly a woman who ‘gets’ him on a deep emotional level. This type of woman has goddess energy!
So how to you harness your female power to emit goddess energy and quickly and easily become the best version of yourself for your relationship? Well, first, you have to stop doing things for the relationship and for him and you have to start doing things for yourself. I don’t mean that you become a demanding diva with your nose in the air and your finger pointing constantly at the things you want your man to do for you. I do, however, want you to relish in selfishness.
Selfishness is first part of a spiritual journey and the first step toward having the kind of goddess energy your man adores.
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Many spirituality teachers discuss the importance of being selfish. You must have self-love if you are to love anyone. If you don’t take the time to know yourself and accept yourself on a deep level (this requires you to be self-centered), you will always put your anxiety and negative self-reflection out into the world. You will try to control and manage others instead of act truly giving and loving free of charge. You will pull the kinds of reactions you want from people instead of allow them to feel fully accepted in your presence. Why? Because without self-love and self-acceptance you’re too reliant on others to feed you love. Your lack of self-love will make you desperate to fill the seeping bottomless pit of lovelessness in your heart with other people’s loving words and actions.
When you are truly selfish, YOU provide for yourself and you get to know your body and mind to the point of being able to know when you need to pamper yourself and when you feel ‘charged’ enough with positive loving energies to go out into the world and truly do for others. Having goddess energy is knowing when to look out for yourself and when to do what you can for your man.
When you don’t put yourself first, you rely too heavily on your man to make you happy. You get hypersensitive to everything he says and does and you become paranoid. This happens because you give him too much power. You need too much from him, and when the cards are all in his hand, you feel out-of-control. You try to regain control by controlling him-– what he says, where he goes, how he shows you affection, etc.
Goddesses aren’t codependent; codependent women are so entangled in a man, they don’t know where he ends and they begin.
Codependent women try to soothe, nurture and love a man for all the wrong reasons– they do these things to soothe, nurture and love themselves. This kind of transference feels really smothering and weird to a man. It can fill him with anxiety: Constant soothing makes the receiver feel like he is being soothed because something is wrong, and this will make him anxious. Lots of parents do this– they constantly soothe a child to feel calm and the child grows up anxious and feeling all the time like some impending doom is upon them. Don’t do this to your man. It will push him away.
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Goddesses avoid codependence and transference by being very mindful of their behavior in a relationship. A goddess is so in touch with herself, she knows when she feels ‘off’ inside. She also knows when she’s focusing too heavily on her relationship and doing it a disservice. She knows the difference between having healthy and reasonable emotional, spiritual and sexual needs in a relationship and putting too much pressure on the man to be her everything.
Goddess energy makes you calm, patient, observant and detached. What do I mean by detached?
A goddess can disengage from negative energy quickly. She knows when to leave an argument (or how to avoid one from starting) before it becomes drama. Goddess energy is about stopping an obsessive mind from getting hooked on a chemical response. Goddesses can tell immediately when they are losing power to a man or a circumstance. They know how to detach from the fears and insecurities that can dictate poor choices. They know when and how to re-engage in fun and self-loving activities to take care of themselves when things are bad in a relationship.
Goddess energy empowers a woman to know when to walk away from a relationship and a man.
Goddesses know when there is more heartache than happiness in a relationship. They also know that happiness in a relationship is not about chemistry and feeling a ‘high’ when things are good in the relationship. Happiness in a relationship involves no chemical highs and instead is more of a soft, safe, peaceful and tender feeling. Goddesses know that the most important part of a relationship is emotional security and feeling safe (not to be abandoned, controlled, played with, objectified, etc.)
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What attracts a man to a woman is a goddess vibe that sends a man a clear message: ”I am a loving, trusting and calm woman and I expect respect, fidelity and love from you in return.” This kind of energy keeps a man from feeling smothered and walking on eggshells, while also keeping him ‘in check’. He feels equally that she is easy-going in the relationship and also high-maintenance (in the sense that he knows she will not tolerate real crap from him).
Finally, goddess energy is sensual, soft and sweet.
Goddesses know how to ‘tenderize’ a man’s soul and win a man’s heart with her soft curves, sultry voice and loving caresses. The key to being a sensual goddess is to know your boundaries. When you know for a fact what you will and won’t tolerate, your body can loosen up and your mind stays present with a man (enjoying his company). It’s when you don’t trust yourself with a man that you get brittle and step into your defensive masculine energy. Your masculine energy protects you and allows your subconscious to scream in a man’s ear; “You better back the f**k up and not hurt me!”. Men can not get intimate with that kind of energy. It makes them challenge you, play power games with you or just run away from you. Female energy whispers in a man’s ear; “Come hither. I trust myself enough to not let you too close unless you behave. So be a good boy, and let’s enjoy each other.”
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