Personal boundaries do 2 things: They make you more soft, sweet and vulnerable AND they act on your behalf as a guardian that demands respect from men. These two byproducts of having personal boundaries up your worth in a man’s eyes!
Men say they want easygoing women who don’t bust their balls and give them tons of space. They are LYING!
When men have doormat girlfriends (or when a girl doesn’t care how a man treats her or that he prioritize the relationship) they feel dissatisfied. The doormat girlfriend makes him feel like he could do better (after all, who wants to be with someone who has no self-esteem). The girlfriend who doesn’t care how he acts, leaves him feeling unloved and under appreciated.
Men want and need partners who show them the value of mutuality, intimacy and partnership. When a woman has personal boundaries she does this for her man. She acts as the LOVE GUIDE and through her actions and words, she gives him a guide map (or a manual, if you will) how how to be in a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship.
Men are like border collies– they are workers! They like to work for their woman. They just need to be shown HOW to work to earn her love.
Personal Boundaries Remove Emotional Walls!
The more boundaries you put up around a relationship (and the more you STICK to these boundaries), the more you trust yourself. When you know when and how to step back from a relationship to take care of yourself and redirect negative thoughts and feelings back to peaceful ones, you feel confident and powerful as an individual.
When you can trust yourself and feel powerful and confident as an individual, you will lose any brittleness with a man. You will also stop sending him mixed messages and acting dramatic about things, and will instead be inviting, calm and loving with your energy.
See, when your boundaries are down, you have one foot on the gas and one on the brakes. You pull him toward you (being too aggressive and eager), while also being too paranoid and acting too sensitive as a result (picking fights, giving him the silent treatment, refusing to communicate your needs and expecting that he read your mind, etc.) This “one foot on the brakes and one on the gas” dynamic has the same effect on a relationship as it does on a vehicle– no movement. If anything the relationship or the car breaks down.
When you have boundaries, you are in CRISUE CONTROL. You are more kind, calm, loving and sweet. You know when enough is enough and you trust that you will actually do something about a bad situation instead of just complain.
When you trust yourself to do something proactive and self-loving during a bad situation, you can more easily exist in the moment. You’ll know deep down that if something goes wrong, you will have the self-disapline and self-love to do what you have to to take care of yourself. This relieves the Anxiety Centers in your brain.
Personal Boundaries Increase Your Price Tag
Ever heard a man explain how a woman becomes more “valuable” in his eyes if she doesn’t sleep with him too soon? This is because men like to hunt. Men like to feel like a woman values herself enough to not “give the milk without buying the cow first”.
Boundaries exist to protect your feelings and when you stick to your boundaries, you are indirectly telling a man, “Hey, I care about my feelings and I don’t want to hurt like this.” This shows him that you love yourself. And know why this is important to him? Because men believe that the way you love yourself is an indicator of how well you will love them.
If you don’t take proper care of yourself, a man thinks “Well, she probably won’t take proper care of me (and our relationship) either.” See, we women can put a man’s happiness in front of our happiness, but a man doesn’t usually do this. It’s a biological gender thing. So, he doesn’t understand how you, as a woman, might put him first over yourself and be a good wife even if you aren’t kind to your own soul and body. He just assumes that you will treat him like you do yourself. For this reason, you have to stick to your boundaries and show him that you respect yourself.
If you want to learn how to implement boundaries (hey, it’s easy to have them and tough to stick to them), take a look at my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. It’s all about increasing your price tag and feeling better about yourself in the process. Being an enchantress is all about self-worth and removing those emotional walls!